• Geoff Behrent writes:
Some time ago I wrote an article in the Krugersdorp News’ sister publication, the Randfontein Herald, about how confusing the game of bowls can look to anyone seeing this game played for the first time. I quoted an article printed in the Natal Mercury some 60+ years ago. This article summed up the game in a very funny way so I thought it would be fun to take it out of my archives, dust it off, re-edit it, and print it once again.
Here it goes …
I put on a clean white shirt and went along to see what this great game of lawn bowls was all about. To tell the truth, it utterly confused me. The object appears to be to get the bowls as far as possible from a little white ball called a kitty.
In rink play, there is a Lead. He rolls his bowl towards the kitty. The first Lead rolls it two metres beyond the kitty and his partner says ‘lovely grass’. The other Lead rolls his bowl two metres wide of the kitty and his partner says ‘lovely weight’.
Then there are the Seconds and Thirds. The Seconds push up the bowls rolled by the Leads. The Thirds then proceed to scatter them all over the place.
It is a grievous offence to touch the kitty with a bowl. Any player who does so gets a chalk mark on his bowl.
Then there are the Skips – they are the ones you see skipping, hopping, and jumping up the green. It is their job to make the game as difficult as possible. It is also their job to hit their opponents’ bowls nearer the kitty and annoy their team. Silly, isn’t it?
When every bowler has delivered all their bowls, their bowls make up what is called a ‘head’. The Skip shakes his head, the Lead shakes his head – and they all shake their heads. Then one bowler gets down on his knees in an attitude of prayer. All the players bow their heads for a while, but the man on his knees is not really praying – he is just measuring, with, believe it or not, a piece of string.
They told me it was a sociable game but I really could not understand why they kept telling each other they were ‘lying’ and no one started a fight or argument. I couldn’t get my head around that! And I didn’t like the way the tall thin player shouted ‘take a metre off your weight to his short, porky partner’.
So there you have it, a very skewed impression of the game but what a fun description of it!
Please remember that bowls is a young person’s game that can be played well into old age so why not put your pre-conceived ideas aside and come and see for yourself what bowls has to offer? I promise you, you will be pleasantly surprised …
What is great about the game is that club membership is growing countrywide and one of its best recommendations is that it is a family game. Furthermore, you quickly make an ever-expanding circle of new friends. A bonus is that it is an affordable game, with green fees (the amount paid to play a game) at most clubs a mere R20 and that most games are played either in the morning or afternoon and, for those at school or work, can find a game in a randomly drawn team on a Saturday. There are many clubs spread along the West Rand so you will most likely be able to find one fairly near to where you live.
