Lockdown and Covid-19 sees anxiety among children spike, how can you help them cope?

A bumper turnout of about 65 eager parents and teachers came out to hear Clay Occupational Therapy’s Rachel Carey talk on the subject at Eden Village Prep School in Salt Rock last Thursday.

From a ‘Worry Monster’ ready to gobble up all your worries to giving children a ‘coping strategies jar’ to empower them to make good choices, Carey provided practical tools to be used both at home and at school.

Carey said children were not able to cope with anxiety in the same way that adults are.

Displaying a simplified diagram of the brain, Carey said the brain contained what was called the ‘Upstairs Brain’, controlling decision making, control over emotions and body, empathy and self awareness and the Downstairs Brain, controlling the fight/flight response, bodily functions and irrational reactions.

“Until age 25 the Upstairs Brain is not yet fully formed,” said Carey.

She said anxiety in children could reveal itself in unusual ways, naming eight predominate possibilities: anger, difficulty sleeping (night terrors), defiance (an attempt to control the situation), ‘chandeliering’ (when a seemingly calm person suddenly flies off the handle for no reason), lack of focus, avoidance, negativity and over-planning (trying to take back control).

Careful diagnosis was important as children are often incorrectly given substances like Ritalin for lack of focus. However, when the cause is anxiety, Ritalin would be of no help, she said.

Carey urged parents to listen to their children and take action if they were in severe distress. Citing her experience with her own anxious child, she said he had suffered high anxiety at pre-school and moving him to a smaller school had dramatically changed the situation.

“It was not a bad school, simply the wrong school for him.”

She recommended helping children express their feelings by giving them the language to do so. While there are excellent resources available for this, Carey said parents could use any story book on their shelf.

“Look together at the pictures and discuss them. How is this character feeling? Is that a sad, worried or happy face?”

When a child is afraid she advised parents not to dismiss their fears, no matter how minor.

“Help your child by listening and repeating back to them their concerns. You do not need to agree, fix the problem or tell them it will be fine. Use the mantra ‘you are feeling X because of Y’. If a child feels heard by you they will feel safe and if they feel safe they are more likely to be open to your help.”

Carey suggested the ‘Traffic light approach’: Stop (calm down), Think (Am I in real danger?) and Be Brave.

“Bravery is doing something even if it makes you scared because it is important and the right thing to do.”

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