There’s only one thing to do in an emergency

If there’s one thing that irritates the smoke out of me, it’s the ad before a movie that suggests we should all walk out of the cinema in a calm and orderly fashion, preferably in single file, in case of an emergency.

Really? Have the people who made that “public announcement” never seen a movie?

Imagine the aliens have landed, their laser beams are slicing through buildings and bridges like a hot knife through butter, and thanks to their protective shields our bullets and missiles are rendered harmless.

Then imagine all the characters calmly walking to the nearest alien shelter, humming Kumbaya.

And when some evil, dark mummified force of biblical proportions starts killing off masses of people with her breath as a primary weapon, should we all still remain calm, breathe normally and proceed in an orderly fashion out of the maze inside the pyramid and await further instructions at the emergency assembly point?

I think not.

Truth is, the chances that we will experience any of the above in real life are slim.

But in real life there are times when staying calm is an almost impossible option.

Imagine the poor souls on that plane last week that had to make an emergency landing at OR Tambo International Airport due to a fault with the landing gear.

They spent hours circling Robben Island before heading off to what could have been a horrific, fiery death. Fortunately, that didn’t happen, but I bet the passengers were anything but calm.

And imagine celebrating life, reflecting on the year that was and taking a well-deserved break with your friends or family in a pub when suddenly you’re in a hail of bullets, people dying.

That was the reality in Melville thanks to a drive-by shooting – something we’ve all experienced in the movies, but only a handful in real life.

I was not witness to that horrific incident, but I’m pretty convinced nobody walked single file to the nearest emergency exit.

As far as I’m concerned, there’s only one thing to do in case of an emergency: run like hell!

Danie Toerien.

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