'Oh, heavens, sorry Mr President, I’m still a little befogged. What can I do for you?' Steenhuisen asks.
President Cyril Ramaphosa and DA leader, John Steenhuisen in Parliament on 15 February 2018. Picture: Gallo Images / Sowetan / Esa Alexander
John Steenhuisen’s landline phone rings. Too early, thinks a fuddled John after his battle royal with his old guard MPs the day before. And disturbed sleep. But it’s Saturday, damn it. “Hi Johnno,” booms a friendly voice. Familiar. Can it be, thinks John. “It’s Cyril here. You know, your president?” “Oh, heavens, sorry Mr President, I’m still a little befogged. What can I do for you?” “John, call me Cyril – or Bull, if you like. Tee-hee. You know there’s the big election looming, and it’s essential we smoke the peace pipe and tie the knot.” ALSO READ: Cyril is…
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“John, call me Cyril – or Bull, if you like. Tee-hee. You know there’s the big election looming, and it’s essential we smoke the peace pipe and tie the knot.”
This shocks John into a moment of silence and thinking opium and LGBTQ.
“No, no Cyril. I don’t suck and I’m not multi-functional.”
“Don’t be daft, John. I’m talking symbolism. Peace pipe and tied knot, meaning getting together and forming a coalition. Where did you do your schooling?”
“Of course, Cyril, it’s just my mind is pre-occupied with factions in my party.”
“Oh, come on, John, you know nothing about factions. My party is strung together with factions. Be that as it may, to a greater or lesser degree we both share the same internal problems that could cost us dearly.
“And another reason why we should get into bed. No, no, John, before you again get the wrong idea. I don’t really want to share a bed. Imagine a bull and a sheep… tee-hee, you are a bit of a skaapkop, eh, Johnno?”
John hits back. “At least I’m not a bull in a China shop, ha-ha-snigger-ha. Now we’re quits, eh? But what you say makes a lot of sense.