When Tshegofatso Tiyani Sephula of Pretoria east realised he was getting nowhere with his studies or life, he looked at himself more closely.
Being the eldest of three sons of a businesswoman and single mother, he knew that he carried the heavy burden of bringing up his two brothers.
On the other hand, he felt this responsibility was exactly what kept him a good and decent man so he could be a good role model to them.
“I was young then and had difficulty understanding and dealing with multiple things. I constantly felt underwater,” said Sephula.
What Sephula did not know at the time, but would eventually find out under therapy for his mental illness, was that he was navigating anger towards his mother.
“My emotions were terrorising me and I was struggling to separate my being from hers,” said Sephula at the launch of his book Mental Decay: Living with anxiety, ADD, OCD & that devil called depression on April 28 in Pretoria east.
At the time he was also struggling with the consequences of being abused as a child and abandonment by his father.
“I was on the verge of a decade of suffering from mental illness. At times I felt its metal claws in my neck, ” said Sephula.
Sephula gave a haunting but very clear impression of how he on the insistence of his mother went to therapy and was diagnosed with four serious mental illnesses.
“I did not understand at the time that I was ill and felt embarrassed and ill-informed,” said Sephula.
It is this information gap, the stigma and silence around mental health that he wants to address in his book.
“We all bleed in the same way. I do not claim to have all the answers, but I know the power of the community, and that great weapon of empathy made me heal,” said Sephula.
“After therapy and treatment, I felt lighter for the first time in 30 years.”
He said he forgave those who contributed to his deteriorating mental health through the years.
“It is only when you stop judging people, that you can completely forgive them,” he said.
He spent 10 years fighting his disease every day of his life before he found a few escape routes.
“You need to get a new vision for yourself and realise your greatness flows from your fears and this is why you need to confront them,” said Sephula.
He believes in the power of friendship and community. “You are not alone and need to find purpose in your pain.”
Writing did not come easily to him, as with his attention deficit order (ADD) he could only write for 20 minutes at a time.
He said he kept going, both in his writing and fighting his illness because he heard a small voice saying “Just keep going”.
“I know it was God’s voice and upon hearing this, I gave myself another 24 hours, another page to write.”
– Listen to Tshegofatso Tiyani Sephula talk about his struggle with his mental health and the solutions he found on his way: https://surl.li/tjvhs
Do you have more information about the story?
Please send us an email to bennittb@rekord.co.za or phone us on 083 625 4114.
For free breaking and community news, visit Rekord’s websites: Rekord East
For more news and interesting articles, like Rekord on Facebook, follow us on Twitter or Instagram
