Chief Dwasaho! My President, today I answer the proverbial national question — Wenzeni uZuma? What has Zuma done?
The cries of Wenzeni uZuma in song and dance reverberated across the Olive Convention centre recently when you flew through the eye of the storm to deliver a closing address at the KwaZulu-Natal ANC provincial conference.
How do I answer thee? Let me count the ways.
uBaba has caused untold suffering to the nation, bastardising its body politic. He has poisoned the public discourse, pitting comrades against one another, thus weakening the people’s movement.
By nature, uBaba cultivates negative emotions (rage and grief) to serve his narcissist self. No wonder he is a perpetual victim of some imagined external forces out to get him.
Nonetheless, it is uncontested that he “stole” R246 million of taxpayers’ money to be secured in comfort, according to former Public Protector Thuli Madonsela’s report. The public expenditure was meant for security upgrades to protect the head of state.
As a nation, no value for money was derived from the expenditure. Still, the money went to fanciful projects, including the “fire” pool, cattle kraal, and chicken run.
“Koko-Zuma now spends his free time twittering and litigating. Former Eskom board chair Ben Ngubane died with a cloud of corruption hanging over his head. He spent the majority of his time at Eskom running errands for uBaba.”
At the receiving end of uBaba’s runaway, Nkandla’s public expenditure is his architect, Minenhle Makhanya-Zuma. The Special Investigating Unit seeks R155 million from him for his part in the Nkandla heist while Zuma sings a lullaby to his many children.
For the former (ill-suited) SAA chair Dudu Myeni-Zuma, it doesn’t rain, but it pours as she has already been declared a delinquent director for life for her escapades at the flag carrier airline.
Last week, Myeni-Zuma pleaded guilty to obstruction of justice for naming a protected witness at the Judicial Commission of Inquiry into State Capture.
Myeni-Zuma did so willfully, taking a leaf from uBaba’s legal playbook of obfuscation, but she is the only one to get a fine and criminal record.
Not so long ago, former (useless) minister Bathabile Dlamini-Zuma was found guilty of perjury and sentenced to four years with an option of a fine.
Dlamini-Zuma opted to pay a whopping R200 000 (half suspended) fine. She deservedly has her second criminal record courtesy of defending uBaba at all costs.
Perhaps the most egregious abuse of people’s emotions for personal gain was displayed during the Zuma riots, marking its first-anniversary last month.
A total of 354 political expendables were brutally killed in the name of uBaba. As so many bodies piled up, uBaba’s daughter twittered the storm, “We see you,” cheering the murderous infantry battalion to do their best in the service of one man, uBaba.
“But there were no consequences for uBaba as he continued sipping his favourite rooibos tea with honey at his Nkandla homestead — the monument of state capture corruption.”
It is no secret that the career of one Brian Molefe-Zuma is a bind. Last week, he was ordered to repay Eskom R10 million pension money he received unlawfully after just 16 months of service at the utility.
He has exhausted his legal options in a drawn-out four-and-a-half years of futile legal manoeuvres. The career of the former Eskom head honcho, Matshela Koko, another tainted “Zuma” executive, ended prematurely.
Koko-Zuma now spends his free time twittering and litigating. Former Eskom board chair Ben Ngubane died with a cloud of corruption hanging over his head.
He spent the majority of his time at Eskom running errands for uBaba.
It is trite to say both the former National Prosecuting Authority (NPA) advocates Nomgcobo Jiba-Zuma and Lawrence Mrwebi-Zuma were found wanting by the Mokgoro Enquiry.
The inquiry concluded that both officials were not fit and proper to hold their respective offices in the NPA after years of doing the bidding for uBaba.
It all ended in tears for the duo after you fired them, my leader. But there were no consequences for uBaba as he continued sipping his favourite rooibos tea with honey at his Nkandla homestead — the monument of state capture corruption.
As we speak, the former NPA head, Mxolisi Nxasana, has yet to repay over R10 million for the golden handshake he unlawfully received from uBaba after he refused to be his poodle.
Furthermore, two more Zuma men bit the dust — former top cop Khehla Sitole, him of the Nasrec phone signal grabber, was fired. He followed in the footsteps of beleaguered former SARS chief Tom Moyane.
Okay, do you still want to know, Wenzeni uZuma? If still in doubt, read over the 5000 pages of the Zondo report into state capture.
Send me to Nkandla for tea with uBaba. Till next week, my man.
• Bhekisisa Mncube is a storyteller, award-winning columnist and author. Mncube’s new book, The Ramaphosa Chronicles, is now available for sale.