Parents urged to change parenting stereotypes
Parents told to change the narrative that women and girls are dependent on men as providers and that boys will grow up to be ATMs.
The root causes of gender-based violence, its effect on individuals in society and strategies to prevent and respond to it were discussed in a workshop held by stakeholders from different organisations on April 24.
The Pro Bono coordinator at ENSafrica Tsholofelo Mvemve said they recently held a GBV workshop where they discussed the causes of men and women being abusive.
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“The stereotypes we have in society about gender roles sometimes are the reasons why we end up getting into relationships having certain expectations and the way we talk to one another as men or women about the opposite gender also informs gender-based violence.
“If you are raising female children believing that they need to depend on a man chances are, they are going to grow up expecting that from a partner or they will date old people who will provide for them and if that person is abusive, they will stay in that relationship because they are dependent on that person. If you raise males believing that a man must be in control, they are also going to have toxic masculinity towards women,”
She added that it is small things that parents say as well as sisters and brothers say to one another that sometimes form violence in society.
“It’s not only poor people who go through this, everybody does because mindset comes from how we were raised as well that community you are around,” Mvemve said.
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The chairperson of the Alexandra Men’s Forum Charles Mphephu said, “We need to change women’s mindset that men are ATMs and men also should shift from that mindset of a man does not cry if something bothers them – because those tears turn into anger and that anger will lead them to show their emotions physically.”
Mphephu urged parents to treat their children equally regardless of gender. “If a girl is home, a mother will tell her to wash dishes and cook and let the male child go play soccer with his friends. Parents please stop all that – children at home should help each other.
“There should not be this thing that a boy does not wash dishes, a boy does not cook, because by doing all that, you are failing your boy child. Once he gets married there will be a war in the house if the wife did not cook while he was home the whole day,” Mphephu said.
Mrs Universe South Africa semi-finalist Yorokeye Ncube said, “Parents let’s check how we raise our male children because if you hit your wife at home your child will also do the same to his wife and kids because that is what he experienced when he grew up.
“Let’s please take out that mindset of a man does not cry to the young generation because if they grow up with that mindset, females will always be their punching bags because they only express their emotions physically.
“The same applies to male children we need to treat them the same way as we treat females so that they would grow up knowing that they are important in society, and the importance of respect, so that they would pass it on when they grow up,” Ncube said.
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