Struwwelpeter: ‘I keep asking myself – who did I miss?’

HELEN Zille has just come back from Frankfurt where she received the Euro Union’s Friedrich Naumann Freedom Prize. This award was in recognition of her lifework in the name of freedom.

She was also invited to be the keynote speaker at a conference in Brussels.

One would imagine that this accolade would be on the front pages of SA newspapers but it wasn’t. It wasn’t even inside. One wonders why.

Thanks Balt

* * *

Well, the split has finally hit the fan. (Not my pun, but Stephen Grootes’ of The Daily Maverick).

It seems that this trade union split is not good news for the ANC, as it will weaken them quite considerably. On the other hand one is not certain whether this is good or bad news for our country. This, of course, depends on what shenanigans the “new” unions get up to.

Meanwhile, Zuma is still hiding from parliament, presumably because he has run out of ways to dodge pertinent questions.

* * *

Struwwelpeter has been sent some photographs of the postal sorting depot in Benoni. The inside has been trashed with mail and broken furniture litters the floor. There is even a pile of mail on the road outside.

The question now is not whether you get your mail (you probably won’t) but why there is nobody in the entire cabinet that can step in and sort out the mess.

But there is a little bit of good news too: people have learnt to send their accounts by email, which is much more convenient for everybody.

* * *

It is rumoured that an emergency call centre worker in London, England, has been sacked, much to the dismay of her colleagues who are reportedly unhappy with her dismissal. It seems a male caller dialled 999 from a mobile phone stating, “I am depressed and lying here on a railway line. I’m waiting for the train to come so that I can finally meet Allah.”

Apparently, “Remain calm and stay on the line,” was not considered to be an appropriate response.

Thanks KCG

* * *

A teacher was being interviewed by the school administration in one of the more liberal areas of the USA. The prospective teacher had a question: “Let me see if I’ve got this right.

“You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behaviour, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages and instil in them a love for learning.

“You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases and raise their sense of self-esteem and personal pride.

“You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a check book and apply for a job.

“You want me to check their heads for lice, recognise signs of antisocial behaviour and ensure that they all pass their final exams. You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Arabic or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter and report card.

“You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile and a nominal starting salary.

“You want me to do all this, and then you tell me I CAN’T wear a small cross or say Merry Christmas because someone might take offence?”

* * *

Just in time for our SARS returns.

I finally received my tax return for 2012 back from the SARS. It puzzles me! They are questioning the number of dependents I claimed?

I guess it was because of my response to the question: “List all dependents”.

I replied:

• 16 million unemployed people;

• 8 million illegal immigrants;

• 1,5 million drug dealers;

• nearly a million people in overcrowded prisons;

• 234 members of Parliament

• and a useless President with six wives

SARS suggest that this is NOT correct?

I keep asking myself – who did I miss?