These are the words of the MEC of the Department of Social Development, Nkakareng Rakgoale. Nkakareng said this after a 13-year-old girl was raped and murdered by her neighbour (58) at Joppie village outside Tzaneen and a 7-year-old boy beaten to death with a crowbar by his uncle at Mandela village outside Phalaborwa.

“We have asked time and again that families in turmoil approach the various government services available to help them, including social workers who are ready to counsel couples through their problems before they escalate and end in unnecessary violence.

“Couples, families, children, men and women should never be too proud or scared to ask for help.

“There is no pride in violent deaths and there are many services and facilities to protect vulnerable family members,” Rakgoale explained.

The Herald spoke to social worker supervisor at Famsa in Tzaneen, Tokollo Motshekga to find out more about violence within families which seems to have engulfed society.

Also read: Child Protection Week: A call to end violence against children

Motshekga said there is a pattern which she comes across regularly when she deals with most of her clients especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

“In most cases, you will find that these incidences are a build-up of a continual cycle of events in the relationship.

“Maybe a man will cheat or is always out with friends and start to neglect his wife or partner for a period of time.

“In most cases women are patient with their partners’ behaviour, hoping it will change, but at the same time anger is brewing inside them.

“When the woman can not take their partner’s behaviour any longer and decide to leave or divorce, some men will see their behaviour is wrong.

“Other men will resort to violence, saying if I can’t have you, no one will. Unfortunately, they do kill their partner for wanting to leave them,” Motshekga explained.

Also read: A voice for younger victims of sexual violence

She said one of the challenges most people face is a lack of communication.

“You find that the other partner wants to sit down and talk while the other one doesn’t want to talk.

“People must start communicating.

They can approach social workers who can assist them or even talk to trusted family members or church leaders,” she concluded.

For social work services, people can call Famsa at 015 307 4833.