A woman in my circle of friends recently caught her husband of seven years cheating.
She told me that when she told his parents, she was, in turn accused of ukuziyekelela (letting herself go).
The couple has three beautiful children and the youngest is three-months-old.
Her in-laws believe that her husband, their son, cheated on this woman because she’d stopped wearing make-up and dressing up for week-night dinners and all the other things she used to do before the affair.
I realised how society blames women for their husbands’ infidelities. Which is wrong and needs to stop.
Ladies, I am not saying it’s okay for you to walk around the house all day in nighties and stockings on your head. However, considering the amount of time and effort women put into taking of their families I would think men would be judged for not not helping out around the house, but getting a side dish instead.
Women are taught to submit to their husbands and not question their actions and whereabouts.
The way I see it, this is exactly the same reason girls grow up to stomach emotional abuse from their partners and our boys grow up to think they can have their way with women with no consequences.
Yes, women have to take care of themselves and always look good, but who said it has to be for a man? A cheating man will use anything as an excuse for his actions.
Anyway, allow me to say that people need to understand that cheating is not a mistake and it takes a lot of effort to cover up such acts.
May we teach our young girls self worth and respect. Let them know the kind of treatment they deserve and tell them it’s okay to want better.
Our boys should also be taught that women are not created for their amusement. Teach them how to treat a lady and show them how to be gentlemen.
@Duenna_M
