WATCH: Mom speaks about daughter’s rape ordeal

The Boksburg Advertiser spoke to the Boksburg woman whose 11-year-old daughter was raped on separate occasions, allegedly by a man they deemed as a trusted family friend.

The girl, Cindy*, was reportedly raped while visiting the family friends’ household when she was six, and she went through the same ordeal in December last year, just a few months after she turned 11.
As a result of the sexual assault, the child is now just over five months pregnant, leaving the family in an even worse predicament.

The suspect, a 28-year-old man, was arrested and charged with raping a minor. He appeared in court several times and is expected to return to court this week (May 22) for his formal bail application.

Speaking outside the Boksburg Magistrate’s Court on May 14, when the accused was expected to apply for bail, the mother, who cannot be named to protect the minor, said this has seen the child being removed from the traditional school setting, and she is now being homeschooled.
She spelt out how her child was raped, allegedly by the same man, and how she (the mother) came to discover that her child is now expecting a baby.

“We considered the accused and his wife as close family friends. We would visit each other, and my children would spend weeks during school holidays with the aunt and the uncle, as we used to call them.
“In December last year, the aunt came to pick up my 11-year-old and my elder daughter to spend the festive season holidays at her place, and we agreed as we were not suspecting anything wrong.
“However, according to what has been gathered, while they were there around mid-December, my 11-year-old daughter’s older sister went out with the aunt. That is when the man called my child to his bedroom, where he undressed and forced himself on her.
“When the child returned home weeks later, she looked normal, and there were no obvious signs that she had been sexually assaulted or hurt.

“However, after she came back, it came to our attention that the child, who started her period when she was nine, had missed her periods in January and February.
“We thought that could be a sign of an underlying medical condition, and therefore, we sought medical advice. We were advised that it is normal for children as young as her to have irregular periods.

“We never suspected pregnancy because apart from missing her periods, there were no other obvious symptoms. Also, we knew she was still a child without a boyfriend at her age.

“To protect her from being targeted by strangers, we monitor her every move. We transport her between home and school. Even when attending her extramural activities, such as dancing and swimming, at school. Apart from visiting the family friends, there was no time when she was left without supervision or left vulnerable to outrageous things like this or kidnapping.

“Although in the first few months after returning from the friends’ house she remained an active child, attending her dancing classes at school and swimming. As time went on, she started to live an inactive lifestyle. Instead of engaging in her activities, she would come home, sit where I am and put her head on me, or hug me like she is trying to say something, but she is not saying it.
“In March, she caught the flu, and I took her to the hospital for a check-up. I told the doctor my child has missed her period for two months. The doctor examined her, but considering my child’s age, didn’t do a pregnancy test.
“It wasn’t until Easter Monday when we were travelling home from a family outing that she started complaining about feeling very hot.

“When we got home, she wanted to take a cold shower. When she removed her clothes, I noticed that her stomach was looking a little bigger than normal, but still, I didn’t think about pregnancy. When I asked her, she said she was full from eating.
“As a mother, I knew something was wrong, but still I didn’t consider that she could be pregnant. We eventually took her to a doctor who, after carrying out tests, confirmed that the child was at the time 18 weeks and four days pregnant.

“I couldn’t believe the doctor. I froze with shock because I could not fathom how and when my child got pregnant.
“I explained to my child that the doctor confirmed she was pregnant. And she gave me a confused expression and asked what that meant. I told her she has a baby in her stomach. She couldn’t understand and asked how a baby got inside her stomach.

“Then I asked her to tell us if someone has ever touched her in a way that she doesn’t understand. That’s when she broke down and cried. She told us about the incident. It seems this friend did it before when she was six.”
All that she could say about the pregnancy is that they are still working on this matter with the help of social workers handling the case.
“Whatever decision we take will be in the best interest of the child.”

Criticised
The victim’s mother pointed out that she was harshly criticised by some people over the way she handled the matter.

“There are those who criticised me, saying I was negligent and failed to pick up on the problem earlier. I wouldn’t agree with them because there were no obvious signs. She was still an active child, hence we were not suspecting anything. When visiting the accused’s household, we thought the child was in the safe hands of adults, who are also parents.”

Support
She said, regardless of the criticism, she received a lot of support from her family and community members.
“I feel loved. They give me the strength and guidance to remain strong for my child. My heart is sore, but the love and support I get from these people is giving me the strength to fight for my child.”

Report it
“What led me to speak out is that we need justice for the child.
“I want him to pay for what he did to my child. I don’t want this man to do the same thing to another child. ”
She said regardless of the criticism, she’s grateful for the support from her family and the community.

Trust nobody
The lesson she learned is that so often rape often involves someone who is known to the victim.
“I received calls from many people who shared their rape stories, saying they were raped by the step-dad or uncle for example. Sometimes it happens in the same house where the victim says, and the mother does not know.
“I have realised that the people we trust the most could be the ones hurting our kids the most. I thought I was protecting my child from strangers when the predator was far closer to home.”

*Not her real name.

Also Read: WATCH: Rape of 11-year-old – Accused’s bail application to continue tomorrow