Getting your child to listen
If you really want your child to listen to you, stop what you're doing and listen.
Do you feel like a broken record, telling your child to do something over and over?
Here are some tips to get the little ones to listen:
- Don’t start talking until you have your child’s attention.
Connect before you start speaking. That means you can’t give orders from across the room and expect to get through.
Instead, move in close. Get down on your child’s level and touch them lightly.
Observe what they’re doing and connect with them by making a comment about what they are doing.
Wait until they look up. Look them in the eye. Then start talking.
If they don’t look up, make sure you have their attention by asking, “Can I tell you something?”
Read: Watch: How parents’ love shapes their children’s lives
When they look up, then start talking.
- Don’t repeat yourself.
If you’ve asked once and not gotten a response, don’t just repeat yourself.
You don’t have your child’s attention. Go back to getting their attention.
- Use as few words as possible when you give instructions.
- See it from their point of view.
If you were busy with something and your partner ordered you to stop doing it and do something else that was not a priority to you, how would you feel?
Your child doesn’t have to share your priorities, they just have to accommodate your needs.
And you don’t have to share their priorities, but it will help immensely if you can acknowledge how much they want to keep doing whatever they’re doing.
- Engage cooperation.
Keep your tone warm and when possible, give choices.
If you really need it done now, phrase it as a command, but keep the warmth and empathetic.
- Stay calm.
When we get upset, kids feel unsafe and go into fight or flight.
In their effort to defend themselves or to fight back, they become less effective at listening, and lose sight of our message.
- Set up routines.
The more routines you have, the less you have to repeat yourself.
- Listen.
If you stare at your screen while your child tells you about their day, you’re role modelling how communication is handled in your family.
If you really want your child to listen to you, stop what you’re doing and listen.
It only takes a few minutes.
q Information obtained from www.ahaparenting.com.
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