Emotions are perceived from the part of the brain called the limbic system. The limbic system (emotional brain) is not smart. It just creates these feelings, drives, and desires – there’s nothing conscious about it all.

If you stop there with your emotions, you will be managed by them, and that’s not what you want. You want to deliver the experience fully to your prefrontal cortex (thinking brain) so you can decide what the emotions mean and how you’re going to respond.

Only your conscious brain can do that, but you need techniques.

What is metacognition?

Metacognition is awareness of awareness; it’s thinking about thinking. In this state, you are reflecting on what’s going on in your emotional life. You are thinking about your own emotions such that your prefrontal cortex is looking at your limbic system.

Little kids tend to be very emotional. As a parent, you’ll say, “Don’t scream, use your words!” And what you are saying is, “Stop being so limbic! Use your prefrontal cortex!” You want your kids to deliver the signal from their limbic system to their prefrontal cortex and decide how they’re going to react to their emotions.

There’s a lot of research that shows that emotional intelligence is a skill to be practised, and the more you practice it, the better you get at it. These are the habits and rituals that you’ll build up.
Not only that, but you’ll be happier.

There’s so much research that shows that people who can moderate and manage their feelings are dramatically happier than reactive people. And, not coincidentally, they make other people happier around them.

So, learn to analyse your emotions and ensure that you don’t harm your life and those around you. You have the power to regulate your emotions.