Signs that your child is hitting puberty

Children grow up so fast. One day they are babies and before you know it, they are tweens, then teens. But how do you know as a parent that your tween son or daughter is hitting puberty? We unpack the signs to help you and them through this confusing time.

What is puberty?

Puberty is a stage where the body of your child is becoming sexually mature. Girls usually start puberty sometime between the ages of 8 and 13. Boys start a little later, between the ages of 10 and 15. About a year or two before you start to notice their bodies changing, their brains have already become active, flooding the body with the hormones it needs to help the transition from a child’s body to a young adult. Signs of puberty in both girls and boys include:

Height: They start getting taller during puberty

Changing body shape:  The changes in boys and girls are different and the rate at which they happen differs from child to child.

Emotional changes: You may notice mood changes. Your child may get angry or irritable more easily or may feel sad or want to cry. Talking to friends and supportive grown-ups is a good way to get those feelings out. Allow them to go through the roller coaster of emotions.

Sweating and body odour:  The innocent smell starts going away. They sweat more and will probably need to take more frequent showers and baths. You need to re-educate them about hygiene and invest in roll-on for their armpits, which start to grow hair.

Oily skin: Their skin may start changing as well and it can be frustrating for them. They may develop oily skin that can lead to pimples. It helps if you feed them nutritious foods and encourage them to wash their faces in the morning and in the evening. If you can, buy them skin care products to help them through this phase. If the pimples become a real problem and socially impact your child amongst his/her peers, take them to a dermatologist.

Sexual feelings: You might have had the sex talk with them earlier on in life but now is the time to re-emphasise it.

Changes in girls

We live in an era where body-shaming is rife and this makes our children to be really body conscious. With puberty, the shape of your daughter’s body starts changing as she develops curves, hip bones widen and weight gain on their hips. Girls mature physically at different rates, so tell your daughter not to worry if she has friends who are larger or smaller than she is. As a parent you need to affirm that these changes are perfectly normal and healthy and that they shouldn’t go on a diet to get rid of them. While growing their chests may have been flat, but as they approach puberty their breasts grow, become larger and rounder. This is the right time to go buy bra shopping for comfort, especially, when she exercises. She will begin her menstrual cycle. It is your responsibility to educate your child on what is happening to her body. You need to explain that each month, one of her ovaries will release an egg into the tube leading to her uterus. When the egg is not fertilised by sperm, the uterus will expel the unfertilised egg and a little bit of lining as menstruation. A period is not usually painful, although some girls do experience sharp cramps. If cramping is a problem, give her pain-killers and if the pain doesn’t go away take them to the doctor because there could be an underlying problem.

Puberty changes in boys

A hugely notable change in boys is that their voices start to change, sometimes sounding high and childlike, other times sounding low and adult, and other times cracking unexpectedly. You may also notice that the Adam’s apple in their throat seems larger. The Adam’s apple, better known as the voice box or larynx, is indeed growing. By the time the voice box is finished growing, the boy’s voice will regulate and he will speak in a lower register than he did as a child. Weight gain, growing muscle and wider shoulders are also signs that your child has entered puberty. Boys also experience growth of their penis and testicles, and they may begin to experience sudden erections or times when their penis grows stiff due to nerves or excitement. They may feel embarrassed if this happens in front of you. If you notice that a boy has an erection, don’t be offended and tease him or scold him about it. Talk to him like you normally would and the erection will soon go away on its own.

Cope together

Puberty may be a challenging time for both the child and parent but you both need to acknowledge that this is a natural part of life. It means your child is well on his or her way to leaving childhood and becoming a young man or woman. Enjoy the ride together.