Every morning, Gadifele Moeng wakes up knowing that the day could be her last.
Rather than frightening her, the thought has become a reason to live intentionally, take chances, and make the most of the time she has. It is also part of what inspired her to write Redeem Your Confidence, a deeply personal book about losing her confidence, finding her voice, and learning to believe in herself again.

Speaking at the book launch in Pineslopes, Moeng opened up about the experiences that shaped the woman she is today. She recalled growing up believing she was not smart, beautiful, or good enough, beliefs that began with words spoken by an authoritative figure in her childhood.

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Raised by parents who believed strongly in family, Moeng was, at one point, sent to live with relatives who had two sons and longed for a daughter. Initially, the move felt like a beautiful new chapter, but that quickly changed. Moeng recalled walking home from school for lunch and repeatedly finding that there was no food left for her. Eventually, she and the mother of the household devised a plan: They would secretly pack a lunchbox for her and hide it in a cupboard.

Even that did not last. Her brother found the food, ate it, and left the evidence behind. Still, Moeng said nothing. Instead, she resorted to drinking water before returning to school, hoping the feeling of a full stomach would carry her through the afternoon. Then came the words from the father of the household. She recalled being called dumb and ugly, words she eventually began to believe.

Those words followed her into adulthood. At university, Moeng believed she had to work twice as hard simply to achieve 50%. She would wake at 02:00 and study until 05:00, convinced she was not naturally academic.

The lack of confidence eventually followed her into the workplace. During one meeting, she had an idea but could not bring herself to speak. A colleague later presented a similar idea, which was immediately embraced and implemented. Sitting quietly, Moeng knew the idea had originally been hers.

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The moment forced her to confront how much her lack of confidence was holding her back. She also reflected on a colleague, whom she resented despite having done nothing wrong. She was confident and unafraid to speak. Moeng realised she did not hate her colleague, she was hurting because they represented the confidence she wished she had. “I was bleeding my pain onto this beautiful, innocent soul.”

Her turning point came when she discovered Toastmasters in June 2016. Watching a young, black woman confidently address an audience, she wondered how she was doing it. That moment pushed her beyond her comfort zone, leading her to seek mentors, take leadership opportunities, and, most importantly, ask for help. “People are willing to help. People are willing to mentor. People are willing to guide if you ask.”

Today, Moeng proudly stands in front of rooms and says something she once struggled to believe: She is proud of herself.

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