Cllr Vino Reddy’s family saw what he was afraid to say
For years, councillor Vino Reddy played the role expected of him, but when a family member said what no one dared to, his world cracked open. This Pride Month, Reddy shares how hiding in plain sight nearly cost him his joy.
Being ‘different’ is not always easy. In a society where conservatism is the norm in many communities, those who feel different to others often find it difficult to be themselves. June, being Pride month, is the perfect time to celebrate those who have found confidence in their own skins, and to encourage those who are still working towards that enlightenment, to step in to the light.
Councillor Vino Reddy, is one of those who has faced this battle head-on, and has come out the other side stronger, and ready to share his story, in the hope that his vulnerability will help others.
Below is his story…
Ward 93 councillor Vino Reddy was not aware he was hiding in plain sight.
Looking back, it’s almost comical how obvious it all was, but when you grow up in a conservative, tight-knit Indian community, self-expression, especially when it challenges cultural norms, often comes wrapped in layers of denial, fear, and coded language.
For the longest time after moving to Johannesburg, Reddy had a ‘special friend’. That’s what he called him. That’s what he told his family. Just a friend and roommate, but the bond was clearly more than that, and one day, during coffee, his brother-in-law cut through the performance: “So, what’s the deal?” he asked. “Don’t tell me this friend story. We know it’s your boyfriend.”
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That moment, brief as it was, broke open years of quiet suffocation. “It was such a relief,” Reddy says now, reflecting on how that acknowledgment gave him permission to stop hiding.
Until then, he had been taking trips from Durban to Johannesburg just to live more openly as a gay man. In Johannesburg, he didn’t have to dim his light. In Durban, though, he kept it tucked away, shaped by the fear of ridicule, rejection, and shame he saw inflicted on other gay boys around him. “People made fun of them, especially the more feminine and cross dressing ones. They were bullied, sometimes, beaten. Our family was well known and prominent in politics and business. I was more afraid of them falling out, because we were brought up in an era of: What would people say?”
So, Reddy hardened his edges. He presented as masculine, watched his tone and measured his mannerisms. Still, some things couldn’t be disguised. His hand gestures would betray him, along with his sense of style, which was effortless, but always with an extra touch. “It was always just a little… Extra. Even when I didn’t realise I was doing it. In my mind it was just pure fashion, even though it didn’t have the flamboyance like the other gay boys.”
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Now, during Pride Month, Reddy shares his story with the same elegance he’s always carried, but this time with no filters or shame. “If you ask if I am gay, just be ready for the answer. However, I wouldn’t rub it in your face. If you ask, I would gladly say yes.
“The DA is one of the few parties that openly has an LGBTQI+ policy. We are totally inclusive. There’s no stigma attached to anything. You’re not judged based on who you are, but rather on your ability to speak your mind.
“There’s gay councils and we have freedom of expression. I always thought as a politician, but one of the concerns I had with this role, was that public perception would change the right for my choices. It’s not a choice. It’s who we are. We’re born this way.
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“We always need to remember where we come from. Who fought for us, at every level, and who takes us, who’s with us. We never get any place in isolation. There’s always a community behind you, whether it’s the gay community. For some people, they’ve been ostracised by their families, but they’ve been adopted by the gay community.
“That’s who their family is now. Family is no longer biological, it is the people that you closely identify with, who are there for you, through thick and thin. I was lucky, since my family is still my family. We need to show people that we exist. We also need to educate people because education is key to acceptance.”
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