Men don’t cry is a phrase many boys grow up hearing.

A quiet instruction to suppress emotion and endure in silence, but in communities like Diepsloot, that silence can come at a cost. Now, one organisation is working to change that narrative, insisting that the boy child, and men too, deserve care, guidance, and a safe space to be heard.

The Diepsloot Men’s Forum (DMF), founded by Bishop Dube, is on a mission to confront the same stigma head on, so men don’t suffer in silence.

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The forum was born from Dube’s own life experience. He endured emotional abuse in his marriage for 25 years, an experience that made him question how many men quietly carry pain without support or acknowledgement. Having lived through that reality, he recognised that many men were dying inside, while their struggles were dismissed or even ridiculed.

Established in 2013, and officially registered in 2016, the forum creates a platform for men and young boys to openly discuss social challenges and emotional struggles. “When the idea came to me, I did not hesitate. I went out and gathered men in the community and proposed the idea to them. Seeing the majority eager to join made me happy.”

@caxtonjoburgnorth WATCH: Bishop Dube, founder of Diepsloot Men’s Forum, explains briefly about what inspired him to start the organisation. Video: Reitumetse Gugushe #Fourways #Diepsloot ♬ original sound – Caxton Joburg North

The forum represents an opportunity to be part of meaningful change for many others. Isiah Mojapelo, who joined in 2022, said he was driven by the growing social issues affecting men. “I saw the need to join, as men were losing their focus and the increase of gender-based violence was getting high, especially in Diepsloot, so, I wanted to be a part of men who bring change.”

At its core, the forum encourages openness, something often discouraged among men. “We believe that when a man has a problem, he must open up, so our goal is to change the image of men in Diepsloot, starting from the younger ones, as they are the future of our generation,” Dube added.

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Recognising that change must begin early, the forum actively includes young boys, many of whom face bullying and emotional neglect.

Growing up under the belief that men don’t cry, often leaves them without the tools to process their feelings. The group has also observed how harmful behaviour can be learned at home. “We noticed a pattern that a lot of them adopt, the bullying from home, when the fathers would beat up their wives, and the children think that is what it means to be a man of the house.”

Dube said that, through mentorship and dialogue, they are able to teach young boys what it truly means to be a man.

There is no topic off-limit. They talk about respect, dignity, and equality, particularly in how women are treated in those dialogues.

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