– Opinion –
It’s day 13 of the hostage situation and I have started to notice things about my fellow inmates.
I have realised that SP (Son Person) is incapable of replacing a roll of toilet paper. Bless him – if it finishes in one toilet, he just moves on to another toilet until there is no toilet paper left in any of the bathrooms. I think they really need to introduce ‘Toilet Roll Replacement 101’ into the school syllabus – it will make parents lives so much easier. (And the percentage of their children living to adulthood that much higher!)
The next subject they need to teach is ‘How to Respect your Kitchen Dishcloth’. It brings tears to my very eyes when the inmates use it for everything from cleaning up a floor spill, wiping down their shoes, using it to wash their car, clean up dog vomit – the list is endless! We have a bucket filled with seventy ‘eleventy’ old rags, specifically kept for these reasons but still the inmates find it necessary to pick on the poor pristine clean little cloth and reduce her to a sorry stained mess, leaving her whimpering relentlessly in the corner of the kitchen sink. And then its up to MP (Mom Person) to give the poor little blessing a Jik-infused drip and try and return her to her former glory.
The last subject they need to teach is ‘How to Empty a Bathroom Dustbin’. Apparently, if you keep precariously piling up empty toothpaste boxes on top of empty toilet rolls and empty body wash bottles, they eventually spontaneously combust and disappear like magic! Poof! Just like that! Who’d have known!
The struggle is real I tell you!
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