Abused victim tells story of her road to redemption
More often than not, women refrain from seeking help for various reasons, including feeling too scared, ashamed or even unworthy.
On average, one in five South African women older than 18 has experienced physical violence, according to the Daily Maverick.
In South Africa, violence – whether it’s physical, verbal, sexual, economic or psychological – against women and children has risen to unprecedented levels, cutting across all cultures and every level of society, and causing an enormous problem.
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It is only when one has first-hand experience of one form of abuse or another that one can understand the immense pain and scars associated with it. More often than not, women refrain from seeking help because of various factors, including feeling too scared, ashamed or even unworthy.
However, miracle cases still exist, and one of them is that of Jane (whose real identity will remain confidential for safety reasons) from Mindalore who, after five years of serious abuse, decided enough was enough.
In April 2013, Jane got married to a man whom she had known for a only few months.
“A few months into the marriage the abuse started. I was told not to talk to anyone and was kept away from church and my loved ones. He would on a regular basis throw sharp objects at me and threaten me with a knife,” she said.
Later that year, the abuse was at its worst, as he would obsessively monitor her phone, spit in her face, check her underwear and not allow her to bath until he came home from work. He would also beat her until she apologised for something she had not done.
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According to Jane, he would also threaten their neighbours with a knife and warn them not to speak to her. Should she intervene, she would be beaten up and left with two black eyes. On another occasion in 2015, she underwent an emergency hysterectomy which resulted in her having to recover over a period of six weeks.
“I was four weeks into my healing when he demanded sexual intercourse. Against my consent, he raped me and damaged my insides in the process,” she explained.
She also spoke of various incidents where he would lock her out of the house whereafter he would assault both her and her family members. That’s when she decided to leave.
“Eventually he convinced me to come back and rekindle the marriage with the help of the church. I dropped the charges, much to my regret and against all my family’s advice,” Jane said.
Due to constant abuse and fighting, they were kicked out of various rental properties. By this time, Jane was being choked, smothered and starved on a regular basis and was told not to watch television.
According to her, her two sons – of whom one is disabled and have different fathers, were also abused and shouted at. Her husband would also throw them out in the middle of the night forcing them to sleep in their bakkie.
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“He continued to abuse me in every possible way including socially, financially and sexually. He would tell me that I am a hopeless case,” Jane said.
After various other incidents, she finally managed to scrape up the courage to leave him behind and go back to her parents in January last year. She also opened cases in Sophiatown, Langlaagte, Roodepoort and Krugersdorp. However, she added that she still lived in fear for a year as he was on the run.
“He has a mental problem, as he would send me and my family SMSes every day. He would also phone every member of my family and threaten them too,” she said.
On Saturday, 13 January, Jane managed set up a trap with the help of the Randfontein Police. She explained that she started replying to his SMSes in an effort to make him believe that she wanted to reconcile.
“I took a huge leap of faith. We agreed to meet up in Brixton, but he wasn’t aware that I had brought the police with me. I could never have done it without them. They arrived in casual wear and managed to arrest him. I immediately starting crying from sheer gratitude, because finally the fight was over,” she explained.
Even though he was arrested, she now has to fight for this dangerous man not to get bail. According to her she has gone too far, and has fought for too long to let him back into society.
“I often wonder how many other women are going through the same thing, and even worse. I want to stand up for these women,” she said.
She would like to encourage all women to stand up against any form of abuse – no matter how difficult the situation might seem. Even though the road to freedom is a long and difficult path, there will be light at the end of it.
Do you perhaps have more information pertaining to this story? Email us at krugersdorpnews@caxton.co.za or phone us on 011 955 1130.I
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