As the holidays approach and we gear up for the festivities, alcohol is often an integral part of the plan to have fun and relax.

But if you have a loved one in early recovery you should consider quitting alcohol yourself, says addiction expert Sheryl Rahme.

To support their loved ones, families of addicts in early recovery should keep a sober home and host events where no alcohol is welcome, suggests Rahme who is the founder and director of Changes Addiction Rehab.

Rahme has been sober and in recovery for 23 years and has worked in the treatment industry for almost as long.

“As the festive season approaches, much of the holiday spirit is in giving. We tend to give more to charities, families in need and loved ones who are struggling.

“We consider the suffering of the world and imagine ways of helping others in the spirit of giving.

“So how about giving in a different way?

“Giving emotionally and in solidarity? Give up drinking!”

Also read: How to talk to your teen about the dangers of alcohol

She says that many loved ones of addicts argue that, when the holidays come around, they deserve a drink to relax and reward themselves after a busy and difficult year.

“You expect the addict or alcoholic to work hard on their recovery and they also need to enjoy their break. But they will celebrate with a milkshake and you expect this of them – so why can’t you do the same?”

Rahme believes that this topic “is tricky in the family dynamic” and brings up sensitive questions.

“I challenge family members who are unwilling to forgo alcohol, even temporarily: ‘What’s your relationship with alcohol that you won’t do without it for a while?’

“Often family members will say that they are not the ones with a problem so why should they change?

“But if you don’t have a problem then why do you feel the need to drink?” she asks.

Another common refrain from families is that their loved one is a drug addict and he/she does not have a problem with alcohol per se – so being around alcohol won’t be a problem for him/her.

“I say this to my patients: Your brain doesn’t know the difference between your drug of choice and alcohol. As soon as you have a drink or two, it unleashes the obsession again.

“Once this obsession is unleashed you will either go immediately back to your drug of choice or drink copious amounts of alcohol and both scenarios will lead to dire consequences,” she says.

According to Rahme, it doesn’t matter what the addict or alcoholic uses, he/she will feel “the desire to get completely inebriated and out of it”.

“For families who want to help their loved one stick to their recovery this festive season, the most important advice I can give is to not drink. If you don’t drink, then there’s equality around the table.”