Kyla Rappard’s matric farewell, held last month at Klein Kaap, one of Centurion’s top venues, was the most important date in her 18 years.

For a whole year, she had been planning how she would look on this one night, working towards the ‘Cinderella version’ of herself she had imagined.

When she was ready, she had a bouncy head of brown curls, lashes that would make a giraffe jealous, sun-kissed skin and a fairy-tale-like dress.

“I was happy, but I was also nervous because it was my night. You think about your matric farewell for the whole year. From the moment you start Grade 12, you think about it. And then suddenly, the moment arrives,” says Kyla, who is also a former Miss Hoërskool Eldoraigne.

Kyla’s high school, Hoërskool Eldoraigne, is in a middle- to upper-middle-class neighbourhood in Centurion, but the matric farewell had the trappings of a Hollywood event, with Grade 12s arriving in limousines, Bentleys and Ferraris. Hiring the cars costs between R4 500 and R10 000 for little more than a pick-up and drop-off at the venue.

A fashion designer, who wants to remain anonymous, says it is a cashing-in season for designers, with some charging mothers up to R30 000 for a designer dress.

The reason for that: “No one wants to wear the same dress,” Kyla frowns.

For many of the matrics, the final months of school were spent talking about what they were going to wear, who was going to be badly dressed and what they were doing with their hair, make-up and dates.

“But it was all worth it,” says Nadette, Kyla’s mother. “She is my only daughter and I wanted to give her the most unforgettable matric farewell.”

Nadette says they started putting money away for their daughter’s big night from December.

“We did some research and we knew more or less what it was going to cost.”

As this was Nadette’s first time being a matric mother, she relied on the expertise of her network of mothers. “I had never done this before, so I didn’t know where to start. I Googled things, asked around and spoke to other mothers. I also got a lot of advice from a mother whose daughter had already had her matric farewell.”

The mother guided her on where to look for a dress, where to find things at good prices, what to do with Kyla’s hair and when to have it done.

Much like a wedding

Nadette admits she is still exhausted from all the arrangements and travelling that went into the big night.

“We drove a couple of times from Centurion to Johannesburg for dress fittings. We had to do trial sessions for hair, nails and make-up, sessions for lashes and tanning sessions.”

Nadette muses that she was too tired to shed a tear when Kyla was finally all dressed up. “I was just glad that the evening had finally arrived.”

Kyla interrupts. “Mom, you did not organise the matric farewell.”

Nadette laughs. “It was almost like planning a wedding. There are so many little things to organise. But I suppose that is what mothers do. They organise the matric farewells, and then they organise the wedding.”

“I will organise my own wedding, Mom,” Kyla says.

“You better,” Nadette jokes.

Advent of social media

Dr Hermann Liebenberg, a psychologist from Centurion, says that since the advent of social media, many matric dances have become a mockery of what they are actually supposed to be: An evening to celebrate the end of your high school years with friends.

“Now it is a competition between mothers and children. It is not about how pretty you look, but about how much money you spend on the evening.”

According to Liebenberg, matric farewell expectations should be addressed in subjects such as life orientation. Learners need to understand that the event is not about how much is spent on a dress, particularly because many parents cannot afford all the costs involved. “For those parents who cannot afford it, it is the child who suffers the most.”

Nadette’s budget was modest, but other parents that Caxton Network News spoke to spent up to R50 000 on dresses, transport to the venue (which has become as important as the dress itself), make-up, dates and the photographer.

Also read: Learner arrives by helicopter for unforgettable Hoër Volkskool matric farewell

Mirêlle Jacobs, a single mother from Cullinan just outside Pretoria, says make-up and nail artists are also cashing in on the event, with prices inflated when a matric farewell is mentioned.

Immortalising the moment

As Kyla is a model Nadette was lucky enough not to spend a fortune on a photographer.

According to Nadette, the photographer, who had worked with Kyla many times before, spent about three hours with them, capturing not only the photographs but the little moments and excitement that made the evening so special.

“He made videos, took storytelling photographs and created a whole story around the evening. He charged us the minimum because he had photographed Kyla so many times before.”

For Kyla’s generation, photographs have become part of the matric farewell itself. Every detail is carefully planned and captured, from the dress and make-up to the venue, car and arrival.

It was very different when Nadette was in matric at Afrikaans Hoër Meisies in 1997.

“My mother used her point-and-shoot camera to take pictures of me and my date. To be quite honest, I hardly ever look at those photos anymore, and I can’t even remember my date’s name.”

Money-conscious choices

Jacobs took a different approach for her daughter Dominique’s matric farewell, as she was money-conscious and could not save before the event.

“Dominique, who is in Grade 12 at Hoërskool Die Wilgers in Pretoria, has always been money-savvy. She understood why she could not get her dream dress, which would have cost around R15 000.”

To solve the problem, they shopped for similar styles and found a dress for R1 800.

Dominique went to a salon to do her hair, which cost around R2 000, but did her own nails. A friend did her make-up for R650.

“We rented a Morris for them to arrive at the function. That cost around R2 000 for the drop-off,” says Jacobs.

Jacobs believes that today’s mothers are the biggest problem.

“They are in competition with one another and do not teach their children to be money-conscious.”

Despite the tighter budget, Dominique looked like a princess.

An evening to remember

For Kyla, her matric farewell ended on a high note. She enjoyed everything from the three-course meal to the non-alcoholic bar and the music.

She kicked off her shoes at around 21:00 that evening – not because she did not like her high heels (she is a model, after all) – but because her friends were afraid that she would step on their already bare feet.

She danced until 23:00 before she left for the afterparty. “Something I am not going to discuss in front of my mother,” she says with a wink.

Both Dominique and Kyla are planning to wear their dresses at least one or two more times before donating them to charity.

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