Men are also allowed to feel, show fear and vulnerability

According to the South African Depression and Anxiety Group, the number of men calling into their helpline is climbing alarmingly with up to 97 calls a day, Polokwane Review reports.

Research suggests that men are less likely to seek treatment for depression, a serious illness which can be successfully treated.

The media spoke to Psychologist, Dr Thembelihle Ndalama who says when men are allowed to show fear and vulnerability, their deepest connections can be expressed.

Speaking on the topic of men’s mental health, Ndalama says men don’t usually open up because they do not want to feel less manly by letting other people know how they feel.

“It is usually very hard for them to open up, especially when it comes to sensitive topics such as family matters, relationship matters or even financial problems,” she said.

Ndalama deals with psychological services to individuals, families and organisations which includes, psychotherapy, supervision, parenting support, mental health awareness and psycho-education.

“You might find that there are some experiences in one’s life that if left unprocessed, weigh heavily on them and hinder their capacity to be their best.

“That’s why psychotherapy offers anyone the space to unpack those kinds of experiences, look at them afresh and in doing so, perhaps there can be room for a shift, new insights and thus a different perspective of self and others. The therapeutic journey is never quick, it’s easy and painless, but it is one worth considering, especially as a man,” she advised.

Ndalama added that men usually find it difficult to express emotions or how they feel directly, though they can build extraordinarily deep bonds with their friends, hence why they feel freer to open up and talk about their issues to their friends, rather than to their partners or wives and sometimes their relative.

“Sometimes they think fights and arguments will be caused if they do open up to their partners about their issues and that’s why they tend to ‘bottle things inside,” she said. She further explained that most men are unique when it comes to their feelings.

“As much as women get emotional over ‘petty situations or issues,’ men won’t, they would rather get emotional when it comes to their favourite soccer, rugby or cricket team than get emotional over an argument. Unlike women, men prefer opening up to a friend, rather than to their partners or wives, and it’s perfectly normal because men feel ‘manly’ when they know their partners know less about their weak spot,” she concluded.

Although June is Men’s Mental Health month men need to be in touch with their feelings and look after their mental health throughout the year.

The media spoke to men and women in the community on what they think about men, their feelings and being open to talking about situations affecting them.

Here are some other facts about men’s mental health awareness:

• Data shows that men die by suicide at four times the rate of women.

• South Africa has the eighth-highest suicide rate in the world, with 450 men taking their lives a month and four out of five deaths being the result of suicide.

• 18 Men commit suicide in South Africa, every day.

• Research suggests that men are less likely to seek treatment for depression, a serious illness which can be successfully treated.

Where to turn to for help:

• Lifeline – 0861 322 322

• Suicide Crisis line – 0800 567 567

• SADAG Mental Health line – (011) 234 4837