When Ena Schmidt looks back to 1980, she remembers a newspaper advertisement placed by a woman who had recently lost her husband.
The woman was lonely and hoping to meet other unattached people who might enjoy a meal, a movie, or simply a conversation. A few people responded and were invited to her home. “I thought I was going to meet just her,” Schmidt recalled with a laugh. “Instead, there were all these people.”

What she discovered that evening would change her life – and eventually the lives of thousands of others. “They were all in the same position. Widowed, divorced, recovering from broken relationships. They were alone and hurting. Hurting was the big thing.”

Read more: The Loneliness Epidemic Part 3: How to stop feeling lonely

Out of that shared pain, Our Club was born. Based in Northcliff, Our Club was created as a safe, friendly, and non-judgmental space where people facing loneliness could meet others who truly understood what they were going through. “There was a desperate gap in the community. There was nothing for single people who were hurting. The clubs that existed had a reputation for being pickup places, and many of us would never have gone to something like that.”

The aim was never simply socialising. It was about restoring confidence, rebuilding friendship circles, and helping people feel human again after the upheaval of loss. Schmidt admits she was extremely shy and almost never returned after the first gathering. Then the club chairperson phoned and invited her to a Saturday night party. “I lay in bed and couldn’t sleep. At about 23:00 I thought, ‘Bugger it’, got in my car and went.”

What she found was a room full of people who welcomed her immediately. “Everybody was so friendly and so nice. I could just join in. It was the most amazing experience.” That feeling of acceptance became the foundation of Our Club, and it remains the reason many members keep coming back.

Over the past 45 years, the club has evolved with changing times. Regular Saturday night parties have given way to more daytime activities, as many older members prefer not to drive at night. The faces have changed too. Where divorce was once a major reason people joined, the club now sees many widows and widowers looking for companionship after losing a long-term partner. The core need, however, has stayed exactly the same. “The basic need is companionship. People want to meet other people, make new friends, and maybe find that special person they can really relate to.”

For some, friendship is enough. “If you’ve got good friends, you’ve got somebody to rely on. A lot of people realise they don’t necessarily need a romantic partner. They just need caring people around them.”

The club’s impact can be measured in the stories that return to Schmidt years later. She recently received a phone call from a woman she could barely remember. “She said, ‘We’ve just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary, and we are both so grateful we met through the club. Without it, we would never have met’.”

Also read: The Loneliness Epidemic Part 4: Helping seniors out of loneliness

There have been many marriages, lasting relationships, and lifelong friendship groups formed through Our Club. Members often leave when they have found their feet again, only to return years later if life changes once more. “They know it’s a safe landing spot.” Schmidt added that the door is always open.

Beyond friendship, the club has also made a difference through charity work, raising funds over the years for organisations including Johannesburg Children’s Home, Nazareth House, the SPCA, and Doctors Without Borders. Now, as Our Club looks to the future, Schmidt hopes a new generation of members – particularly people in their 60s – will step forward to help keep the organisation going. “I hope they find friendship, fun, and acceptance. This club has been serving a real social need for 45 years. There is still nothing quite like it.”

For anyone sitting alone after a bereavement, divorce, retirement, or another major life change, her message is you do not have to stay isolated. Sometimes the hardest part is walking through the door for the first time. Sometimes, as Schmidt discovered all those years ago, that one decision can lead to a whole new chapter of friendship, laughter, and belonging.

Details: Maarten Visser (chairperson of Our Club): 083 281 3673.

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