How to get rid of telemarketers

Telemarketers who try to sell you stuff, irregardless of whether you don’t have a car for car insurance or whether you already have a brand new cellphone and don’t need another one on contract.

Some people just ignore the call, but if you happen to answer it, here are ten ways to get rid of telemarketers.

1. Tell them you’re not the owner and that you just found the phone in the street. If you’re brave, you can even say you just stole it.

2. Pretend you can’t speak English. The telemarketer will soon get tired of trying to explain themselves and end the call.

3. If you’re going down the ‘no English’ route, you could also pretend that you can’t hear properly and ask them to repeat themselves constantly in a very loud, clear voice.

4. In a whispered voice, tell them you’re at a funeral and that this isn’t a good time to talk.

5. If you’re really feeling crazy, tell them that the person they’re looking for has just died. Throw in some fake sobs and pauses to make it more believable.

6. Before they get a chance to ramble on into their sales pitch, tell them that your battery is about to die and that you can’t talk now. Then hang up. If you’re really dedicated to the cause, switch your phone off afterwards, just in case they call back.

7. Tell them that you’re in a meeting or that you’re about to go into a meeting. If you can, get someone to shout for you in the background to make it seem as if you’re really running late.

8. If you really want to be funny, tell them that you already have whatever they’re trying to offer you. There’s no way for them to call your bluff.

9. Tell them that you’re a telemarketer too and try to get them to buy something from you. If you’re really good at it, you may get them to agree to purchase whatever it is you’re selling.

10. If you’re not in the mood for fun and games at their expense, just be blatantly honest, tell them you’re not interested and hang up.