Secunda attorney and director at Van Schalkwyk-Le Roux Venter Inc, Adri van Schalkwyk, is passionate about the topic of gender- based violence and gave the Ridge Times and Famsa her insights.

As part of a 16 day campaign, the Ridge Times took hands with Famsa to regularly post about this pressing issue for the duration of the 16 days.

In her line of work, Van Schalkwyk often gets to do with gender-based violence, as the firm focuses on family law and children’s law to mention a few.

Van Schalkwyk reckons violence is being experienced by every person daily worldwide in different ways, even if a person just witnesses acts of violence.

“Violence can be direct or indirect, be experienced among the youth, at home, in families, in schools and even institutional at workplaces, prisons and nursing homes,” said Van Schalkwyk.

“Unfortunately, violence is a reality and at the order of the day.

“What makes it even more problematic is that people tend to shy away from getting involved. People lack sympathy and empathy.

“Because a blind eye is turned to the problem, the problem is not getting any smaller, but instead only bigger and the spiral of damnation more aggressive and more violent. In my opinion violence is getting out of hand.”

Although Van Schalkwyk has not experienced violence first hand, she said if you look at the meaning of GBV, it refers to forms of abuse which include physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal and psychological abuse, economic abuse, intimidation, harassment, stalking, damage to property and more, then she did experience it first hand.

“GBV does not only take place at home, but all around us. We just condone it as part of life and get numbed against violence in society.

“This is causing more frustrations which get acted out at home and families are then the victims of these frustrations.

“Women experience violent behaviour at their workplace, directly or indirectly, almost daily.

“But, I am happily married and have not experience acts of violence in this sense ever.

“I have sympathy and empathy for people experiencing this type of violence where they are supposed to feel safe and be protected by life partners.”

On a question on how to prevent GBV, Van Schalkwyk said this process will take years as the role players will need to look at each victim and make them believe that violence is not the answer.

“We have to look at how people react in situations and teach them to be mature and not to react with violence or any other type of abuse. Emotional abuse is violence, and sometimes that is the worst abuse. We cannot linger longer for years on this problem as too much time has already passed.”

Van Schalkwyk believes to get the community involved, is a good place to begin. She encouraged people to be bold about this topic and to begin at home.

“Teach your children to communicate, how to deal with stress and that it is ok to seek help. Look at the way we respond to each other in our families, teach your children to reach out and help a friend.

“Teach your children the red flags of potential violence, to both boys and girls. These days, men are also victims.

“Teach your children to be happy with themselves and not to look for happiness in another person. In my experience this is mainly the problem in broken families and marriages.

“Make sure you are happy before you find someone with whom to share your happiness. Make sure that the person you found, is happy as well.

“Don’t get a partner to make you feel more worthy. Find your worth in yourself and equip yourself with confidence.

“Deal with problems from your childhood before you begin with your own family, this will help you to grow your happy family which you longed for when you were a child.

“We need to get more involved in our communities and help other families with support and guidance.

“I think the most important factor is to be a model for other people to deal with conflict, stress and violent situations.

“Each person should equip themselves with tools to deal with violence, be it physical or emotional at home, relationships or at your workplace.

“Do not condone emotional abuse and act immediately.”

On Famsa’s question on what needs to change systematically about the fact that one in every three women experience violence, Van Schalkwyk said survivors need to speak up and share their stories hope with others.

“We need to teach the next generations about boundaries and that any form of abuse is unacceptable.

“Generations must be made aware of the mistakes of the previous generations. Begin conversations and teach young children and women the signs of abuse and the matter of respect, but mostly self-respect.”

Van Schalkwyk’s message of hope and advice to survivors is to keep on telling their stories of hope and victory.

“You can save a life by telling your story, but there is also healing in telling your story.

“By standing up boldly against GBV you are a hero and in the process you are protecting yourself, your family and community health.
“Be the one that breaks the evil cycle of GBV.”