SEDIBENG.- Sexuality is an integral part of human identity.

It shapes how individuals see themselves, express affection, build relationships and find a sense of belonging within families and communities. For persons with disabilities, however, sexuality often becomes a complex and contested aspect of identity.

While every individual is entitled to self-expression and human connection, many disabled people find themselves navigating a difficult intersection between the identity of disability and the identity of sexuality. This intersection frequently produces a crisis of recognition in which society acknowledges one identity while denying the other.

Many disabled people are perceived as dependent, vulnerable or incapable.

Disability is often viewed through a medical or charitable lens that defines individuals by their impairments rather than by their humanity. As a result, many disabled people are perceived as dependent, vulnerable or incapable of making decisions about their own lives. Sexuality, on the other hand, is associated with autonomy, desire, intimacy and personal choice. When these two identities meet, social prejudices frequently emerge. Society struggles to accept that a person can be disabled and at the same time be a sexual being with aspirations for love, marriage and family life.

This conflict does not only affect the individual; it extends into family relationships and broader social interactions.

Families are often the first institutions where perceptions of disability are shaped. In many cases, parents of disabled children become overprotective and restrict opportunities for social interaction, friendship and emotional development. While such actions may be motivated by concern, they often send a harmful message that the disabled child is incapable of forming meaningful relationships. The child grows up internalising feelings of inadequacy and believing that sexuality and intimate relationships are privileges reserved for others.

Negative attitudes towards disabled children remain widespread across many societies. Some families treat discussions about sexuality as inappropriate when it concerns a disabled family member. Questions about dating, marriage or parenthood are dismissed or ignored. Disabled young people are frequently excluded from conversations about reproductive health and sexual education, leaving them ill-equipped to understand their bodies, assert their rights and protect themselves from abuse. The assumption that disabled people do not need such information is both discriminatory and dangerous.

Some families continue to hide disabled children from public view.

The situation becomes even more troubling in communities where disability is associated with shame or social stigma. Some families continue to hide disabled children from public view, limiting their participation in community activities and denying them opportunities to develop confidence and independence. Rather than celebrating diversity within the family, disability becomes a secret to be concealed. These practices deprive disabled individuals of social visibility and reinforce the false belief that disability is something to be embarrassed about.

Ironically, even prominent families and public figures who possess the resources and influence to champion disability rights sometimes remain silent when disability exists within their own households. While they may actively participate in discussions on education, health, economic development or political transformation, disability issues are often absent from their public platforms. The reluctance to acknowledge and discuss disability perpetuates silence and weakens efforts to advance inclusion.

Visibility matters because public recognition helps challenge stereotypes and creates opportunities for societal change.

The right to express one’s sexuality and build relationships is inseparable from the right to live with dignity.

The consequences of these attitudes are profound. When sexuality is denied, relationships become difficult to establish and sustain. Disabled individuals may struggle with low self-esteem, social isolation and feelings of rejection. Potential partners may be influenced by stereotypes that portray disabled people as asexual, unattractive or incapable of maintaining relationships. Such misconceptions create barriers that are often more disabling than the physical or sensory impairments themselves.

At the societal level, the denial of sexuality within disability reflects broader inequalities. It exposes how citizenship and human dignity are often granted selectively. A society that recognises the rights of disabled people to education and employment but refuses to acknowledge their right to intimacy, love and family life remains fundamentally unequal. Human rights cannot be divided into acceptable and unacceptable categories. The right to express one’s sexuality and build relationships is inseparable from the right to live with dignity.

Political leaders, policymakers and civil society organisations must therefore move beyond tokenistic discussions of disability. Disability policy should not focus solely on accessibility ramps, employment opportunities and social grants, important as these are. It should also address issues of sexuality, reproductive rights, family life and relationship support. Comprehensive sexuality education must be inclusive of persons with disabilities and public awareness campaigns should challenge myths that continue to marginalise them.

Equally important is the need to transform family attitudes. Families should be supported to understand that disability does not diminish personhood. A disabled child is not merely a recipient of care but a human being with dreams, emotions, desires and aspirations. Parents and guardians must create environments where conversations about identity, relationships and sexuality are encouraged rather than suppressed. Acceptance within the family often becomes the foundation for confidence and acceptance in society.

Communities and political leaders can help ensure that disabled people are recognised not only as citizens with rights but also as individuals capable of love.

The true measure of an inclusive society is not how it accommodates disability in public spaces alone, but how it recognises the full humanity of persons with disabilities. Sexuality is not separate from humanity; it is one of its most fundamental expressions. By confronting stigma, challenging silence and embracing open dialogue, families, communities and political leaders can help ensure that disabled people are recognised not only as citizens with rights but also as individuals capable of love, companionship and meaningful relationships. Only then can society move beyond exclusion and affirm the dignity of every human being.

Lucky Tumahole is a Disability Advocate and Political Writer, he writes here in his personal capacity.