Thandi turns tragedy into triumph
After years of silence, the 29-year-old house music deejay, producer and vocalist has spoken out on being born into a violent and abusive life in Port Shepstone in the early 1990s.
Well-known deejay, musician and all-round phenomenal woman Thandi Draai is on a journey of healing from her abusive childhood. After years of silence, the 29-year-old house music deejay, producer and vocalist has spoken out on being born into a violent and abusive life in Port Shepstone in the early 1990s.
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Thandi recalls being placed into foster care at the tender age of four by Give a Child a Family (GCF).
“I realised that I had blocked out some horrible memories as they were just too painful. I have been told by people who counselled and cared for me that I had shared these experiences with them as I went through counselling and therapy.”
Thandi says she is speaking out because she now realises that if she wants to see change, she must become involved.
“I was only a toddler when the abuse started, and all I remember is crippling fear that swept over me every afternoon around 3.30pm, as that was the time the beatings would start. “I remember the fear, the constant crying, the anguish, the cigarette burns all over my little body (even my face), the pain in my heart and body from the physical, emotional and sexual abuse. My mother had left me in the care of my grandparents, who abused alcohol, and me.”
Now, Thandi says she can’t sit back and pretend she never went through such trauma.
“For the longest time I felt my story was embarrassing and I didn’t want people to know where Thandi Draai came from or feel sorry for me.” According to Thandi, the abuse was noticed by her pre-school teacher who reported it to authorities. She was removed from the toxic environment and raised by foster mother Veronica Jubber who died in 2016 when Thandi was 24.
“It wasn’t easy growing up in a foster home, but it was much better than being in that abusive world. The therapy in the beginning wasn’t easy. I was holding onto a lot of pain and darkness and things I didn’t understand,” Thandi said. “Just because you are removed from a situation doesn’t mean everything has magically been fixed. My foster family had to be patient, love me and bear with me because you do go through tough times.”
Thandi is now the face of GCF’s new campaign Hope For Tomorrow, urging South Africans to break their silence on violence against children and the abuse of women.
“I urge young people to call each other out on this rape culture. We don’t talk about these things and that’s why the circle keeps going. “A survivor needs to heal, work through that pain and look for positivity. “Right now I’m in a space psychologically, spiritually and physically to fight for a better tomorrow. I want to show people that as much as I come from this past, look at what I have been able to do with my pain.” Thandi says GCF is now her charity of choice. “Since 1992 GCF has done amazing work, ensuring that vulnerable children are given an equal opportunity to enjoy their right to family care, to survive, be protected and develop to their full potential.”
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