Are you married to a narcissist? A narcissistic spouse will have an overinflated ego, be manipulative, have a lack of empathy for others, need excessive attention from others, and can be abusive.
I recently read the book – So Lyk ‘n Vrou. It is about a woman who was married to a narcissist for 40 years and the hell she endured. I have often found myself wondering about these women, not understanding why they just don’t leave, easy for me to say. This book changed my perspective, and I highly recommend you read it.
Some might wonder why would you get married to such a person, but unfortunately the saying ‘love is blind’ is almost always true. Young love can be especially blind, as was the case in this book. You don’t recognise this behaviour whilst you’re still in love, you make excuses for them. And one day you find yourself alone and in a very dangerous situation.
These are some signs that you are married to a narcissist:
You don’t feel connected to them, even though everyone else sees them as charming.
They downplay what you are feeling.
When they do something to upset you, they will bombard you with love, gifts, affection, etc.
They hold grudges.
They are manipulative.
They want to control you.
They isolate you.
They treat you like a child.
They jokingly insult you until you believe these insults to be true.
It is impossible to please them.
Always talking about themselves.
Always fishing for compliments and attention.
They treat you like a possession.
Narcissistic personality disorder is formed when a person has very low self-esteem and needs others to inflate their self-worth. They choose their victims carefully, they prey on the weak. Being in a relationship with a narcissist is toxic and can be life-threatening as there are normally instances of abuse, mentally, physically, and financially. This can make it very hard for the victim to break away from this relationship. The narcissist will also isolate you from your friends and family, which will make getting away almost impossible.
It is important to note that this person will not change! It will not get better, but most probably get a lot worse.
Find help, today!
About the author: Monique Botha is a divorced mother of two and has been living on the South Coast for five years. She completed her higher certificate in criminal justice and is in her final year of completing her bachelor’s degree in criminology. She believes in lifelong learning and is proof that one is never too old to make your dreams a reality.
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