16 Funny golf chirps to lighten your mood
Here's some golfing humour, a few from yesteryear, to get you through the lockdown.
1. Three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool. – Baseball Hall of Famer George Brett
2. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula And I took a 7 to do that. – Sports writer Jim Murray
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3. The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. – Baseball Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle
4. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them. – Actor Kevin Costner
5. I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par. – Chi-Chi Rodriguez
6. After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. – Chi-Chi Rodriguez
7. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. – Tom Weiskopf
8. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. – Lord Robertson
9. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. – Jack Benny
10. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. -Ben Hogan
11. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20 percent of the time, you’re the best. – Jack Nicklaus
12. The Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. – Billy Graham
13. If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf. – Bob Hope
14. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake in a sand trap. – Henny Youngman
15. If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. – Jack Lemmon
16. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. – Lee Trevino
(Sources: various)
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