Sibeko raises awareness about suicide prevention

As South Africans mark World Suicide Prevention Day, commemorated on September 10 to promote worldwide commitment and action to prevent suicides, Johannesburg south resident Gift Sibeko says it is his intention to fight suicide.

“I would like my story to contribute to fighting the stigma of mental illness and raise awareness of the importance of suicide prevention. Like many other suicide survivors, I’m grateful to be alive.”

“I’ve tried to kill myself four times. Keeping myself occupied meant planning my suicide day after day during the years of mental illness that owned me for the majority of my teen life. I kept my first attempt a secret from the therapist I was seeing at the time. As a child and adolescent, I grew up unaccustomed to sharing my thoughts and feelings. A show of vulnerability in my family was met with humiliation.” said Sibeko.

Sibeko says that even when he wasn’t depressed, even when he was participating fully in his life, suicide hovered as an escape.

“I fantasized about the idea. Having the perfect suicide plan made me feel safe. If I suddenly became overcome by the crippling pain of depression, I could flip the suicide switch hidden in the far side of my brain,” said Sibeko

There is hope

Sibeko says that his family stepped in and, “it took three years of intense therapy, and I’m still terribly sensitive and still can get depressed.

“Life today is so precious and so full of hope. I wish I could say that I don’t find the world a harsh, cruel place at times, but I’ve learnt ways to cope, have a gentleman in my life, and live a comparatively ‘normal life’. Over the past years, there have been moments when I feel like ending it all, but they’re fleeting thoughts.

“I’m careful of the warning signs now and when I know the world is getting too much for me to bear and I can’t cope, I see my local doctor and firstly get medication before I hit rock bottom, and secondly I talk, talk, talk to people who can help me get through it, like councillors, help lines, friends. I don’t isolate myself or my disease anymore,” said Sibeko.

When asked what he’d say to those who are currently experiencing suicidal thoughts, Sibeko said: “You can’t possibly realise how much you’d be missed if you weren’t here because of how badly you feel. There is help and hope available.

“It doesn’t always work the first time around, it might take several different tries at it, but your life is worth living even if it doesn’t feel like it now.

“For those experiencing suicidality, you’re not alone, and there is always hope, even if it doesn’t feel like it now,” Sibeko said.

To seek help if you or someone you know is suicidal or in need of emotional support you can contact The SA Depression And Anxiety Group (SADAG) on 0800 567 567.