“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But, nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you do not belong” – Mandy Hale
Let me share with you some valuable steps to take to begin taking full responsibility for your life and snap out of being a victim.
Step 1
Make a conscious decision that you are adopting this new way of thinking (taking full responsibility) no matter what. You may even ask some people you trust to hold you accountable to this commitment of no blaming, complaining, criticising and justifying why something didn’t work. Instead say, ‘I did not apply myself enough or I fell short, period.’
Step 2
Pick one thing and decide you are going to respond differently – for example when someone laughs at you for something you didn’t do so well, decide you are going to have a different response. Instead of getting all worked up, just take a deep breath and remind yourself of the ‘why’ when you did it. Remember that failure gives you the opportunity to begin again more intelligently, said Henry Ford.
Step 3
Put a visual stop sign up in your mind when you feel yourself becoming defensive and ready to blame.
Step 4
Learn to apologise sincerely for something without attaching “and” or “but” to it. Don’t say, “I am sorry I shouted at you, but I couldn’t help it.” The “but” disqualifies the apology. Take full responsibility for your reaction of shouting.
Step 5
Adopt the attitude that “change begins with me.” Remember what Mahatma Gandhi said: “Be the change that you want to see in the world.”
Step 6
Empower yourself with “I can” and “I will” statements; for example, “I can give this talk.” When you say this, the creative juices start flowing and you inject yourself with positive energy. This helps you think beyond the current situation.
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