Guideline for parents on bullying

The parents might feel bewildered, scared, sad, guilty, angry or helpless and may even feel like a target themselves.

While it is important to recognise and acknowledge all those emotions, remember that feelings alone will not change the situation.

The most effective thing a parent can do is focus on the issue and develop a plan.

First, make sure that the issue is bullying and not routine childhood conflict.

It’s bullying if the action is hurtful, intentional, and repetitive, and there is a power imbalance between the children.

Sometimes children are afraid or embarrassed to talk about bullying.

If a parent suspects their child may be a target of bullying, they may want to try these approaches to find out for sure.

Ask and listen:

• Did someone hurt the child on purpose?
• Is the other person bigger than the child or scaring them?
• Did the child know the other was being hurt?

Watch for signs such as:

• Suddenly wanting to be driven to school instead of taking the bus
• Unexplained stomach aches or headaches
• Changes in sleep routines or temperament

Teach direct and indirect techniques for dealing with bullies.

Parents may want to encourage their child to:

• Avoid situations where bullying occurs
• Hang out with classmates, friends, peers, or siblings
• Tell the child who is bullying to stop
• Do something the bully does not expect or want, yell, blow a whistle, laugh

Children who interact with peers are less likely to be bullied.

Help a child by:

• Joining an after-school programme or activity
• Develop a hobby that allows interaction with others

Talk with teachers and administrators.

• Notify them of the situation in writing.
• Schools are obligated to respond to bullying.
• Discuss ways the school can help, such as by developing a bullying awareness programme.
• Offer to speak to the school board and be the ‘bullying expert’.

Source: The South African Depression and Anxiety Group.