How to overcome the green-eyed monster

Whether it’s seeing a friend getting a new car or a colleague being promoted, jealousy can rear its nasty head out of nowhere, leaving us with a bad taste in our mouth. So how do we deal with it?

“We all experience moments in life where we feel happiness mixed with a pang of jealousy. That doesn’t make us bad friends, partners or siblings, it makes us human,” says friendship expert Shasta Nelson, author of The Business of Friendship.

“At its core, envy is just the recognition that you want something you lack or that others have. Paying closer attention to this emotional state can help you learn about your emotional needs and desires, and find new ways to achieve them.”

Shasta’s top 4 tips to overcoming jealousy:
1. Understand envy
Understand that our friends’ achievements don’t prevent our own successes. We can be sad for ourselves and happy for our friends.

2. Feel your emotions
Allow yourself to experience your envy fully, process it and work through it. Begin by naming your feelings: sadness, anger or regret. Every emotional experience is an opportunity for you to gather information about your deep-seated needs and desires – and eventually use that information to guide your actions.

3. Take action
Think about healthy and meaningful ways to pursue your needs and desires.

4. Cheer for your friends
Your friends’ success is not correlated to your setbacks. Moving away from this resenting envy can help you protect your friendships and celebrate the people who matter to you.

Source: https://hbr.org/2022/02/ask-an-expert-im-jealous-of-my-friends-successes-how-do-i-cope

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