‘Cowboys don’t cry; in extremely traumatic circumstances they might hug their horses.’
That’s a lame joke we used to share many years ago in an attempt to show that ‘real men’ don’t show pain or anxiety.
It’s a far cry from today’s philosophy, where men are encouraged to show their vulnerability and their ‘feminine side’.
We even have the liberty to cry during sad movies, without being judged as wimps.
But a residual of the old school attitude remains, and it can most clearly be seen in the fact that men are far less likely to visit a doctor than are women.
That thought occurred to me as we attempted to coax men to join in our CANSA prostate testing event on Sunday.
That they did come forward in numbers was a wonderful surprise.
So, why is it that men resist going to see their doctors?
There are two widely held theories, and they contradict the ‘I’m too busy’ excuse.
One is that men are conditioned from a young age to project themselves as strong, independent and without weaknesses.
The other is that it is because of fear of what a medical examination and diagnosis might reveal; we are scared of the outcome.
While it is true that ‘the unknown is always worse than the known’, we men can’t seem to embrace this.
We also have the ‘if it’s not broken, don’t fix it’ mentality, which does not acknowledge the fact that there might be plenty of ‘broken’ body parts that have not yet made their condition apparent.
It also disregards the ‘prevention is better than cure’ philosophy, leading to late (maybe too late) diagnosis and treatment.
Of course there is another scenario: Zululand men don’t need doctors telling them to cut down on their alcohol intake or to go on diet.
As regards women seemingly being eager to visit the local GP, my personal view is that they see it as a chat outing with a friend.
I’m judging that based on all the non-medical information and news I get to hear after wifey visits our affable local doctor.
And here’s another thought, prompted by the females at our workplace: why is it that when men are (a little bit) sick, we act like we have the plague or are in the final throes of a terminal illness?
It’s a ‘scientific fact’ that, while women don’t have the luxury of rest and a break from chores, men demand attention and enormous sympathy as man flu is always more serious than mom flu.
At this point, all the women say: ‘Amen!’
By the way, a teacher told me once that she had asked her class what it means to die of natural causes.
One replied: ‘That’s when you die without the help of a doctor.’
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