In the fight against gender-based violence (GBV) and femicide in Alexandra, a representative of the men’s forum in Region E, Patrick Ngidi, is increasingly highlighting everyday relationship dynamics that often go unaddressed, particularly the risks tied to informal cohabitation.

Ngidi stressed the importance of cohabitation agreements as part of the measures to address GBV. This is something he has consistently spoken about among fellow men at the regular Indoda Wednesday sessions.

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“We’re taking the issue of cohabitation, in view of GBV, because oftentimes, when people meet for the first time, everything will be hunky-dory, but, eventually, or gradually, you find out there are some differences within the relationship.”

According to Ngidi, many couples enter cohabitation impulsively, often keeping their living arrangements hidden from family back home. “In most cases, the couple usually doesn’t inform their parents. They only meet, start a relationship, and move in together.”

He said that when misunderstandings and differences surface, the absence of clear rules frequently leads to conflict. Ngidi noted that community structures often have to step in to mediate.

“When there are differences, you find patrollers have to now step in, because someone will be complaining or fighting, sowing even more division.

“Hence, we are advocating for people to know about this cohabitation agreement.”

He explained the purpose of such agreements in straightforward terms.

“It outlines all the terms and conditions when you enter into that kind of a contract, so to speak, as you will be living together.”

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He said that, without prior agreements, the living conditions, coupled with expectations, can breed resentment. “So, those are the things that also bring about some confusion and conflict. As a result, this thing of GBV escalates.”

He said that is why platforms like men’s forums are crucial for spreading awareness. He said that by normalising cohabitation contracts, they hope to equip couples, particularly men, with tools to manage expectations, protect assets, and reduce the triggers that lead to violence.

He added that such agreements are not about romance-killing paperwork, but fostering clear partnerships that can withstand real-life challenges.

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