Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, an evil emperor decided to tax his people. Even though his people were suffering, the evil emperor decided to increase the cost of everything in his land. This emperor, Emperor Clueless of the Absolutely No Clue clan, did not realise the people of his land were starving – in more ways than one. You see, Emperor Clueless lived in a fancy castle, deep in the KZN countryside. From behind his bulletproof windows and 10-foot high wall, he counted his gold coins, forever driven by his greed for more gold.
Emperor Clueless saw his people driving to work on fancy roads and came up with a great idea to get more gold – not only for himself, but for his friends as well. He figured, quite cleverly, that people must use the roads to get to and from work, and to deliver all sorts of products to the market. So he chose to place a toll on the roads – all of them. No matter where in the Empire of Gauteng you would drive, you would pass one of his tolls. And you would have to pay. Except if your cart carried people only.
But then came a knight in shining armour, the valiant Prince Outa, who decided to challenge the evil emperor’s tolls. Emperor Clueless was afraid, and called upon his pet dragon, Sanral, to challenge the prince in a duel to the death.
An almighty battle ensued, with many arrows and sword-strikes passing from the prince to the dragon. The dragon responded with fire, burning the prince quite badly. But he never faltered in his quest. The prince fought on, even though he was outnumbered and mortally wounded.
Sadly though, Prince Outa was defeated by Sanral. The prince fell after receiving a strike from the evil magician – a secret ally employed by the dragon and the emperor. This magician was able to fool brave Prince Outa into thinking he could win, only to cast a wicked spell upon him, sucking out his will to fight. It was at this moment the dragon sprang forward and burnt the prince to a well-done crisp.
The people of the empire cried, while Emperor Clueless celebrated. He danced a little jig, did the emperor. And all the dragon’s friends had a big celebration which lasted many days. Such was the fire from the celebrations that it could be seen across border, to the far lands of the remaining eight minor empires. And all trembled – they feared the emperor may impose a similar tax in their lands as well.
People in the Empire of Gauteng wore black, in mourning, and wondered how they would afford simple things like food, as the evil emperor’s tolls would raise the prices of everything at the local market. But Emperor Clueless cared not for such trivialities, safely ensconced behind the walls of his castle. He dined on the finest foods every night, what did he care about the people outside his walls?
The people, however, waited, knowing a new champion would come, even though things seemed hopeless. There was once a French King who held similar feelings about his people. Until those very people came a-knocking on his doors at the Bastille and took his crown (and head).
