Fifty years of a mutual love for helping

Founders of Hospice East Rand Mike and Denise Heatlie celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary on Friday, November 5.

They also introduced the GriefShare ministry series from America to Benoni Central Methodist Church.

The Western Extension couple, who are both 73, met in 1964 at Mike’s elder brother Lucien’s home.

Despite being the bridesmaid of a friend Yvonne, who married Mike’s brother a few years earlier, Denise had no recollection of meeting Mike.

They got engaged that June and were married on December 5 of the same year.

“There was just something lovely about her — and I knew she was the person I was going to marry,” said Mike of his wife.

Denise said Mike looked good, dressed in his Scoutmaster’s uniform, on the day she met him.

She added that he was funny, friendly and had solid values about life.

They started Hospice East Rand as a home-care operation on July 1, 1986.

Denise said this was the result of a spiritual experience she had.

Being aware of the increase in patients suffering a terminal illness and needing the care a hospice offers, and with the nearest such service being in Johannesburg, the Heatlies were prompted to open Hospice in Benoni.

Hospice continues to be about the quality of living with any illness that cannot be cured and the support that is offered to the patient and family members in the in-patient unit and in the patient’s own home.

It has a dedicated team of nurses and trained care-givers.

Mike spent 18 years in the Sixth Benoni Scout Group, became a Queen Scout, Scoutmaster and District Commissioner.

They couple both joined Life Line East Rand in 1972 and became telephone counsellors.

Denise eventually became the director and Mike a training director.

Denise has been a trained, volunteer lay counsellor for 43 years.

The couple said they are driven to do charity work because God has given them a heart for people who are hurting.

“We do not do this in our own strength,” said Denise, who moved to Benoni from Springs as it was Mike’s home town.

“We just loved the ‘feel’ of Benoni; the town – especially the Christmas lights we used to have, the suburbs and lakes, and it was close to family members and work.”

When asked for their secret to sustaining a long and happy marriage, Mike said the Life Line Personal Growth training taught them a great deal about acceptance and being non-judgmental.

“We learned to accept the differences in our natures,” he said.

Denise said that listening to one another, sharing joys and sorrows, fun times with loved ones and a relationship with God are important contributors.

She added that her parents, Victor and Edna Lindebaum, who were married for 66 years, set a good example.

“They were the most incredible role models as a married couple,” she said.

Mike is a civil engineer and Denise a retired pastoral care coordinator.

They both enjoy photography as a hobby and Denise is a keen gardener and scrapbooker, too.

GriefShare is still running and the couple distribute Christmas Day meals and toys in local townships, from the Benoni Central Methodist Church.

They have two sons and daughter-in-laws, Kevin married to Tammy, and Alan married to Jeanne, and five grandchildren, Joshua, Daryn, Olivia, Ashton and Kelsey.Mike said he loves Denise’s compassion for others and Denise loves that Mike is a generous man to those in need, his strength of character and humour.

“And he loves me, too,” she added.

Their advice to young couples who are striving to accomplish the same milestone is to have God in your life and to remember why you fell in love.

They encourage couples to seek help if their marriage is in trouble and not be so busy with other things that they neglect their families.

They celebrated with a special lunch, arranged by Denise’s sister, Wendy Heneke, and friends, on December 6.