Around 35 years ago, a Benoni teenager was giving her teachers headaches. Today, she still causes pain – but of the good kind: The kind that comes from laughing so hard your stomach muscles ache.

Urzila Carlson (50) is now a global comedy star, selling out shows across Australasia, North America and the UK.

She is a best-selling author and has appeared on international screens, from Netflix specials to the 2025 hit Kinda Pregnant.

But her life could easily have gone another way.

Lifechanging: Hoërskool Brandwag

After being expelled from a boarding school, Carlson arrived at Hoërskool Brandwag in Northmead on the same day as new principal Renier Pieterse.

“He told me if I’d had problems at my previous schools, things wouldn’t magically change here. I had to change,” she recalls.

Within a week, Carlson found herself in a fight and back in Pieterse’s office. The principal offered her a clean slate – if she could get her act together.

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It was a defining moment, signalling a shift in mindset that allowed teacher Christelle du Plessis to further break through Carlson’s defences. In her autograph book at the end of school, Du Plessis wrote a line

Carlson still quotes: “There is no greater waste of time than regret.” In 2014, Carlson shared the quote in a TEDxAuckland talk, and the response was overwhelming – people reached out to say it had helped turn their lives around, including supporting addiction recovery journeys.

Years later, Carlson tracked down Du Plessis, now an educational psychologist, to share the impact of those words.

Sneaking into municipal pool

Her Benoni childhood was one of freedom and mischief.

The family lived near McKenzie Park, and she and her siblings spent hours outdoors, riding bikes, exploring sewer systems and even braaiing in a cement stormwater drain.

Their mother worked six days a week to support the family after separating from Carlson’s abusive father, a story told in her memoir Rolling with the Punchlines.

“We had a lot of freedom and independence, but also responsibility,” she says. “We did the washing and I cooked for the family.” Sneaking into the municipal swimming pool was a favourite pastime.

“It cost 20c to get in,” she laughs. “One of us paid, the other two climbed over the fence.”

Benoni City Times link

Before leaving South Africa over 20 years ago, Carlson worked at Caxton Local Media in Boksburg, overseeing production for several community newspapers, including the Benoni City Times.

Editor Lana O’Neill remembers her as a straight-talker with little tolerance for nonsense.

Carlson’s comedy career began almost by accident in Auckland.

A colleague tricked her into performing at an open-mic night at The Classic Comedy Club. Seventy of her former colleagues came to watch.

“I assumed they were the ones laughing,” she jokes. But the venue called the next day, inviting her back.

After only four gigs, she was named New Zealand’s Best Newcomer and soon left advertising to pursue comedy full-time.

Penny-pinching days

Her early years were far from glamorous. She couch-surfed, paid her own festival travel and once rented a room through Craigslist. “Which, honestly, is how people get murdered,” she laughs.

Even with two decades in New Zealand, Carlson remains fiercely proud of her South African roots.

“What I miss most is the spontaneous hospitality. In New Zealand, you get invited somewhere from one to five. In South Africa, you go for lunch and stay eight hours.”

Her breakout film role in Kinda Pregnant, co-starring Amy Schumer, showcased her trademark improvisation. “Only two lines were scripted,” Carlson says. “Amy and I just ad-libbed.”

The stubborn honesty that once got her into trouble as a Benoni teen, and kept her demanding in the newsroom, now fuels the comedy that has made her an international star.

Fans can also catch Carlson’s stand-up specials on YouTube, including Just Jokes, which she keeps free of monetisation so viewers are not bombarded with adverts.

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