Vuka’s story

June 21 to June 26 was Drug Awareness Week.

Narcotics Anonymous (NA) membership is free, voluntary and anonymous. All ages, cultures, sexual identities and religions are welcomed. The desire to stop using is the only requirement. NA is not affiliated to or accountable to any outside entity, including friends, family, correctional services or employers. For more information about NA meetings visit www.na.org.za or contact their helpline (0861 00 6962) to be guided to the nearest meeting.

Here is Narcotics Anonymous member Vuka’s story:

My name is Vuka and I am an addict.

Well, before finding the Narcotics Anonymous (NA) programme, I can say that I was lost.

Nothing in my life worked. I couldn’t hold down a job for very long. I messed up every good relationship I had.

My life was just a cycle of one crisis after another, from being arrested to not having a place to stay, not having money for food to owing people money, being in trouble at work and the like.

I had been trying to stop taking drugs for years with no success. The longest I could stay clean was probably around two months.

My disease has brought me to my knees more than once.

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I’ve lost jobs, relationships and once in a lifetime opportunities. I’ve had to start all over again having lost everything including my reputation. Each time believing that this would be a new beginning. I’ve known for a long time that I am an addict but I never knew I was powerless.

I guess that’s what kept me coming back to the drugs all the time.

Since coming into the programme I’ve realised that my life was unmanageable long before I started using drugs. I learned the drugs were just another symptom of this unmanageability.

I remember constantly being in trouble with my teachers for not doing my homework throughout my whole school career.

In primary school, I would constantly fake an illness so that I could be sent to the sick room and my parents would be called to pick me up.

I was no good at sports either. I never really learnt the skill of working at something and seeing it through.

I can see the pattern of how these character defects have been carried through to my adulthood.
My disease is a disease of not being able to handle life on life’s terms. I’ve learnt a lot about myself since coming into the rooms of NA.

Walking into my first meeting made an impression on me that I will never forget. It was the first time I felt like I belong.

A member in that first meeting shared that there is a difference between abstinence and recovery. That resonated with me. The warmth, love and acceptance I felt in that meeting made me want to keep coming back, so I did.

And that decision has since proven to be the best decision of my life.

I’ve since learnt that simply finding the programme of NA and going to meetings is not enough.

My disease is incurable and progressive. In this regard, I have to constantly and consistently work the program.
Working the programme for me means speaking to my sponsor regularly, going to meetings, working the steps and applying them to my everyday life, doing service and cultivating a relationship with a higher power.

The first step has been critical in helping me understand why it is I must follow the programme.

In admitting that I am powerless I’ve come to terms with the fact that, as an addict, using drugs quite simply does not end well for me no matter how hard I try to use successfully.

I’ve also learnt to identify my life’s unmanageability in seeing how I just don’t have the tools to navigate everyday life situations even with my best thinking.

This is why I need the NA programme to help me navigate my way through the situations that life throws at me.
All in all, it hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth the effort. I can’t say that I’m anywhere near perfect, but the change that I’ve seen in myself is profound.

The value of having a sponsor, who is a recovering addict just like me and who is there for me to help me through the process of applying the steps in my daily life, is priceless.

And, going to meetings regularly to engage with other addicts on our experience strength and hope keeps me constantly in touch with my roots. I’ve gotten the opportunity to do service by carrying the message to a children’s home once a month, which has been a truly humbling and fulfilling experience.

My relationship with my higher power has grown in leaps and bounds as I see him come through for me daily.
Not only that, my life outside the programme has been enriched. I can now, for the first time in my life, live a dignified existence.

I don’t make much money but I’m making an honest living. Through the programme, I’m learning more and more every day how to handle the things that come with life on life’s terms, like deadlines at work, a healthy relationship with my wife, paying rent, budgeting and family responsibilities.

Through the programme of NA, I’m slowly learning to become an upstanding member of society.

The best part of NA for me is its accessibility.
The money that I earn at my job is barely enough for me the cover all of my expenses, let alone travel to face to face meetings.

But with the online community at the touch of my fingertips, I’m able to do recovery from the comfort of my home or anywhere I happen to be for that matter. If it wasn’t for the online community I wouldn’t be able to stay in touch with the program as much as I need to. I attend an online meeting every second day of the week.

This has given me a much-needed respite from the madness in my head and has been critical to my being able to continue on this journey of recovery.

Thank you, NA.

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