Restauranteur turns depression into a life full of laughs

The Boksburg Advertiser recently caught up with one of the city’s well-known faces, comedian, author and speaker Costa Carastavrakis, to explore how he survived the darkest days, facing rejection, anti-gay prejudice, depression and fear before ultimately opening RocoMamas in Boksburg.

‘Desperately Seeking Souvlaki’ Carastavrakis’ background inspired him to become a comedian and an author to pour out his life history to the world.
His book, published in 2019 and entitled I Am Costa: From Meth to Marathons is based on his life story and experiences.
He also wrote and recently performed Desperately Seeking Souvlaki, a 70-minute standup South African Greek comedy feast about a Greek man’s odyssey to finding his identity.

He said writing about his background has been one of the best things he has ever done for himself because that has transformed how he feels about his past, sexual prejudice and substance abuse.
“After finding the humour in the situation, I turned it into something creative and full of light. That is where my comedy career was born.”

Carastavrakis performed his comedy shows live on stage in different parts of South Africa and abroad. These include the New York Gotham Comedy Club, Malaysia, and the Theatre on the Square in Sandton.

The 53-year-old humorously recounted to us his struggles to overcome relentless bullying at the hands of his peers after coming out as gay at an early age.

At its worst, the situation forced him to turn into what he describes as a ‘naughty kid’, drinking alcohol and taking drugs to suppress his fears and pain.
He also recalled the self-destruction after resorting to substance abuse to escape the daily torment; his journey of recovery and turning the hardships he endured growing up as a gay child into a new beginning and opportunities that saw him become a productive citizen, rising the comedy ranks.

“I have experienced lots of failures, successes, sexual identity rejection and was on a path to self-destruction.
“I faced many battles in my life, and some very serious battles – being bullied for my sexual identity, getting addicted to alcohol, hooked on drugs and nearly taking my life,” he said.

Carastavrakis described the environment at home as safe and lovely, as both his parents, Elizabeth and Theo, embraced his true identity and refused to see him through the eyes of others.
But the streets and school grounds were horrible environments for him.

“Many parents tend to not pay much attention to how their children cope in the school environment, apparently because they heavily rely on the school system to deal with any uncalled-for behaviour.
“Some say children are tough and can withstand any treatment and get through anything.

“I guess I wasn’t the one who was tough enough to bear the series of traumatic incidents of being told that you are wrong, you are bad, or you are not strong, not brave and not manly enough.
“Hence, I needed an escape from the depression, slowly killing me from the inside out. I found all my escape mechanisms in substances.

“The more these things are said to your face, you believe that there is something wrong with me.
“I was terrified and overwhelmed by feelings of depression.”
Carastavrakis started drinking alcohol at12, started taking drugs at 14, and later struggled with addiction.

“I was looking for anything to hide myself from the cruel world as I didn’t understand what was happening.

“I used to drink daily and take cocaine and meth, and would even go to work drunk. Thank God, I survived.”
Recovery
His journey to recovery started when he realised drugs messed up his life, destroyed his relationships, and he was on the verge of destruction.
“I wanted to stop, and it was very hard to stop drinking alcohol and getting off drugs.

“You need to take a decision courageous enough to take the first step of seeking help and then overcoming your cravings and triggers.
“The recovery process is also slow, so you need patience and make it a daily job.
“It took me years of getting better.”

Carastavrakis described himself as a recovering addict, saying every day is his recovery journey.
“I’m an addict in recovery and am allergic to drugs.
“You know people who are allergic to something and if they eat it, they can die.
“Yes! I also have an allergy to drugs and alcohol. If I use them, they will kill me, as they nearly did.
“So I stay away from them. I’m now a productive member of society. My head is clear, my relationships are honest, and I don’t have to hide from the world or try to hide my authentic self.”
Dangerous
Carastavrakis said as one of the lucky ones who came out of the drugs alive, he wanted to warn as many people as he could of the dangers of substance abuse.

“Whatever justification you can give for using drugs, they are dangerous and will kill you. They only know one thing, and that is destruction.
“I’m not a professional, but I got professional help. Give yourself a break and seek help. You are not alone, and healing is possible.”

Carastavrakis also called on society to stop discriminating or stigmatising those who suffer from depression or any substance addiction.
“Instead, let us all take the responsibility of helping them overcome their addiction and sustain their recovery.
“I don’t subscribe to the notion and stereotypes that men don’t feel depression, saying you got to be strong and tough.
“Depression affects men too, and it is best to get professional help.
“Don’t medicate the pain or numb it, because bottling up your anger, fears and frustration leads to catastrophic consequences.”
Productive citizen
As part of his new life, the former resident of Boksburg Carastavrakis now lives in Rosebank.

He said after starting his journey of recovery, he became sober and slowly gained self-confidence over the years, becoming healthy and taking part in a couple of marathons.
“I started behaving responsibly, saving money and then opened the RocoMamas in Boksburg with my business partner.”

Despite everything that conspired to keep him down, Carastavrakis made it through school, obtained a BCom Honours in marketing at the University of Cape Town and worked at Unilever.
“I was bright, loved reading and always believed that I deserved a better life.”

About balancing his demanding job at the restaurant with being a comedian, author and speaker, Carastavrakis said, “It’s hard, but when you love something you find the energy and time for it.”

Also Read: Boksburg restaurant owner turned funny man