Let us just blame everything on the drought and the falling Rand

Everybody was talking about the drought like it was some kind of monster – you know, one of those 10 headed freaks that spews fire and that only Beowulf can slay.

With the drought came the relief effort and everybody applauded individuals and organisations that magically collected thousands of litres of water for the thirsty and needy.

But with the drought came of course many other problems, as if this monster had spawned a diabolical offspring, just like when you throw water after midnight on a gremlin.

This offspring of problems has reared its ugly head in the cost of living.

After all, it seems these days everybody is talking about how expensive it is to go shopping (instead of talking about the weather), and it is because it seems the drought monster has wreaked havoc on our land.

By the way, the jury is still out on the many other nasty creatures of the night with white collars that have brought unrest to our land – we shall not name them since they seem to be the new untouchables in the vain of Eliot Ness.

Granted, I can understand why potatoes (lots of water is needed) have become so expensive that it should be treated as a commodity on the stock exchange.

But when it comes to the other sharp increases, I get this sneaky feeling, like a buried ulcer, that everybody is jumping on the bandwagon, either blaming the drought or the weak Rand.

We all I hope enjoyed a relaxing Easter weekend, even though it seems people still cannot drive on the roads (or some choose to be intoxicated or speeding) when suddenly faced with a long weekend.

Regarding Easter, tell me in all honesty, what does chocolate Easter eggs have to do with the drought or the weakening Rand?

Sure, milk comes from cows and cows didn’t appreciate the drought, but milk is still rather affordable.

So what conspiracy is afoot when it comes to charging an arm and a leg for an Easter egg? Because really, explain to me how someone can be expected to pay R140 for a couple of small chocolate eggs nestled in some sort of tin holder.

It seems this is the biggest daylight robbery since Nkandla.

Were these eggs imported from the North Pole or is there a gold coin hidden inside?

It is rather clear that this is the season to make huge profits and to reap the profits from dubious practices, as we shall blame the drought and the Rand because the consumer on the street will accept such a ridiculous excuse.

Easter has therefore like Christmas become the biggest consumer cash machines. What a tragedy for the children.

By the way, I did not buy any chocolate bunnies or eggs, not even the marshmallow kind, because I would rather buy two expensive bags of potatoes for the same price.

And what does the drought have to do with our health?

Quite simple. Very soon, due to the sharp spike in the cost of living, a lot of people will not be able to pay for their exorbitant medical aids anymore, which means a possible trip to the state hospital.

Yes, that is right. After all, it is insanity these days to maintain any form of medical aid for a family.

And let us be honest – a medical aid is quite useless without a strong savings account, which becomes quickly depleted judging on how much doctors and specialists charge these days for a consultation.

The medical fraternity will also probably blame a R500 consultation fee on the drought, or is that the weak Rand?

Another daylight robbery I might add, since a doctor’s visit these days (unlike the good old days) lasts three minutes flat, is cold in service, impersonal in nature and very unrewarding to the body and soul.

I also blame my parents – not the drought – for not forcing me into the medical profession, even though the site of blood is even scarier than the price of a chocolate bunny.

Apart from maybe no longer affording medical aid, our health in general will suffer because along the way our diet will take a dive judging on how expensive fruit and vegetables have become.

It is probably good that the price of sugar has skyrocketed (and remember the sugar tax next year) because apparently sugar has very little nutritional value.

By the way, why is sugar suddenly so expensive? Oh yes, probably the drought and our weak exchange rate, which was caused by the Nenegate scandal.

Every time one now puts sugar in your coffee (which has also skyrocketed in price) it is more like a bitter pill to swallow, instead of enjoying the sweetness of life.

The other day I almost fell of my chair when I heard how much butter costs. This sparked a debate in my house if butter is healthier than margarine.

Problem is nobody really knows, judging by all the confusing diets and eating plans, just like if coffee is really good for you.

All I know is that the drought, our Rand, and most certainly the government’s antics is not good for anybody’s health, and definitely not our sanity.

And if our health does deteriorate, we will have no choice but to blame the drought, and if we land up in a state hospital, then blame the drought.

Now I just wonder if the incredibly shoddy and shocking service offered by our public health care system will also be blamed on the drought?