Corona Chronicles: 15 aprons, 8 flasks and too many vases to count … it’s a numbers game in Tracy Schloesser’s kitchen

While on my kitchen cleaning frenzy I did learn a few things about myself, like the fact that I somehow own 15 aprons! Yip! You heard right! Now most of my friends know that I like cooking and entertaining but I am not sure if it warrants being able to wear a different apron for two consecutive weeks and then still have one spare ‘just-in-case’ apron!

The flask cupboard was also quite scary: It appears we have enough flasks to sustain the family with hourly cups of coffee on a trip from the Cape to Cairo! This is quite ironic actually, as normally on family road trips HP (Husband Person) does not allow time for stopping at cute little Karoo picnic spots to sip gently on some warm brew while appreciating the fresh morning air! Nope! Not in his car. Your eyeballs have to be floating and you have to offer him the souls of a thousand virgins before he will allow you to stop for a pee! So I am thus not quite sure why exactly we need eight flasks when we never ever use any on a road trip!

My last discovery was the vase cupboard. Clearly I must have had illusions of opening up a florist shop at some point in my life but I apparently have enough vases to house all the flowers from the Chelsea Flower Show! They are all really very pretty of course, but do I need seventy ‘eleventy’ million of them?

So my dear friends and family, if I deem myself worthy, and your kindness extends to you buying me a birthday gift this year, please can I very gently ask that you walk straight past the apron, flask and vase aisle when out shopping for me and go directly to the wine aisle. You can never go wrong with a nice bottle of bubbles and the best part is that once consumed they don’t take up any valuable cupboard space! What a win!

Missed some of the other Corona Chronicles? Check them out here:

Corona Chronicles: Witty Joburg resident documents past five days of social distancing