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Five insights to help you ask for what you want

One of the best-kept secrets in business and life today is having the gusto to go out into the world and ask for what you want.

One of the best-kept secrets in business and life today is having the gusto to go out into the world and ask for what you want.

More people fail to try in life than those who actually fail at something.

“We have become so conditioned to shy away from pain or being uncomfortable. Most of us play it safe, only taking risks if we are certain it will work out and therefor never really achieve our full potential,” Jacqueline Raw said, owner and founder of Ycagel.

Jacqueline added the key to being successful is learning to ask for what you want, to reach your goals in 2021 and to survive post-Covid. Entrepreneurs and professionals are going to need to learn the art of asking.

Jacqueline offered five insights to help you develop these skills:

1. Become feedback fit

You are not always going to be what your clients or boss want, and that is okay.
People see situations from their perspective and through their own life lenses, their perspective are their own.
The art of becoming great at asking for what you want hinges on your ability to get this one skill in hand.
Without feedback, you will never be able to grow, so fearing negative feedback is like fearing toothpaste, it will not cause any harm, but it most certainly can help.
Lean into asking for feedback because being feedback fit will be your greatest asset.

2. Depersonalise rejection

Closely linked to becoming feedback fit is your ability to depersonalise rejection.
You cannot become courageous if you see rejection, when asking for what you want, as a rejection of who you are.
If you are going to go after what you want, you are going to have to realise you are probably going to have to go through a lot of ‘noes’ to get to your ‘yes’.
The more you are able to depersonalise rejection, the more courageous you will become.

3. Go or grow

So you have put yourself out there and one of two things has happened, you have either got what you asked for or you have not.
If you haven’t, you have one of two choices, you can use the feedback to grow and develop whatever skills you need to get your yes or you are going to realise the situation is not right for you and you will go.
Do not fall into the limbo trap where you do neither and stay exactly where you are.

4. Don’t overthink it

When I hear how many people complain about what they do not want in life, my first question is always, “what have you done about it?” or “have you asked for what you want?”
The two most common responses are nothing and no, and more often than not, the reason for inaction is that they have thought themselves right out of the game.
People are storytellers and the most compelling, convincing stories we tell ourselves are the ones that outline why it is safer not to go for it.
The brain is designed to keep us safe and comfortable, so when we want to put ourselves out there it starts working to protect us.
If you really want to create a spectacular life, you have got to deprogramme the overthinking.

5. Just do it!

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