From drug addict and gangster: the dark life of Kempton’s Codi

A rehabilitated drug addict from Kempton Park opened his heart to Kempton Express about his dark past of substance abuse and gangsterism to where he is today.

Codi Khaya van der Merwe, who was born in the North West Province and bred in the south of Johannesburg in Eldorado Park, recently settled in Kempton Park for ministry and work purposes.

He said he has a dark past riddled with trauma, depression, rejection and addiction and that he takes full responsibility for the choices he made.

“I was exposed to alcohol, drug abuse, gangsterism and violence as a little kid and throughout my childhood. Seeing my dad and relatives drink was a norm and seeing others in the community use substances to cope with daily life was also a norm. As a child, I began developing the perception that these things were okay because everybody did it,” said van der Merwe.

He struggled with many rejection issues and fitting in with those around him and adopted the image portrayed by those around him.

“I started smoking cigarettes and using marijuana, which primed my brain to use other substances, hence its nickname the gateway drug. I gave into peer pressure at the age of 11 and so using marijuana,” said van der Merwe.

With prolonged use, the signs began to show themselves. When he was 15, he was introduced to cocaine, known as rock on the streets of South Africa. He fell in love with the feeling and the effect he got from it, but little did he know that it would lead to withdrawal and dependence.

“My parents noticed a change in me that worried them. I also failed a grade that year, so they decided to move us to the East Rand in the hope that a changed environment would lead to changed behaviour. This was a good move, but it would later expose me to a wider range of drugs because I went looking for it,” said van der Merwe.

He was going through the ‘experimental phase’ in the cycle of addiction. As the years progressed, he became more troublesome and his parents didn’t know how to deal with him.

“My lifestyle was sex, drugs, rap music, friends and alcohol, but it was taking more than it was giving me,” said van der Merwe.

When he was 18, he found himself addicted to more than one substance, from rock, Khat to meth. He always surrounded himself with people who could avail these substances to him. He sometimes also resorted to theft.

“I had a sudden change of friends and interests. My new social circle and our use of substances became our identity. The strange, unpredictable behaviour coupled, with my rebelliousness, was too much for my family to bare.

“I was resistant to feedback, I became paranoid, irritable, angry and I lacked motivation for the things I once loved. I suffered from significant weight loss, which resulted in an indifference to my appearance. I suffered from insomnia which amplified my depression. I began withdrawing emotionally and wrestled with thoughts of suicide,” said van der Merwe.

He then got in ‘phase three’, the ‘excessive use stage’. He couldn’t take it anymore, so he tried to commit suicide a few times but failed. He was admitted to hospital where he was put on suicide watch.

He was diagnosed with hypo-manic depression and performance anxiety, which required medication. “I was sent off to my first rehabilitation centre. And when I came out I was clean for a few months, and then relapsed again and again.”

By that time, he was in ‘phase four’, ‘total addiction’. He was so dependent on these substances that he didn’t believe he could live without them. He then slipped into the ‘final phase’, also known as the ‘crucial stage’.

“The final stroke came when I almost overdosed several years ago and survived. For the first time in a long time, I began to truly desire a relationship with God after being clean for about three weeks.

“I decided to refer myself to a professional treatment centre, Elim Clinic in Spartan. This is by far one of the best facilities I know and it served as a stepping stone,” said van der Merwe.

He is currently working at this very facility, helping people through their addiction. This is the place where he felt the Lord called him to help, and this is where life truly began to change. Through a personal relationship with God through Christ and with His people, his life began developing some sort of significance.

For the first time in his life, he really believed that he had a purpose and was determined to fulfill it.

“Without God, life made no sense but with Him suddenly everything started ringing bells. I obviously faced difficulties, but I didn’t turn to substances anymore. I turned to God and my family, who acted as pillars to hold me up even to this day.

“I found mentors and accountability partners who asked me hard questions and were always willing to assist in arduous times. It wasn’t about staying sober anymore, it was about believing and trusting in Jesus Christ. It was about living my life to honour Him, and it was about helping others and growing in the process.

“I started getting more involved in ministry with a deep desire to help those stuck in addiction,” said van der Merwe.

During all this time, he had a praying mother who never ceased to tell him about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and his purpose in life.

“The Lord did send a lot of messengers my way, but the most consistent was my mother whom I respect and love dearly. She always told me that God was in the midst of this chaos, wanting me to believe and trust in him. She reminded me that He is our restorer, our comforter, our protector and much more,” said van der Merwe.

His message to the youth is to discover what their purpose is in God for His word says that He has prepared work in advance for us to do.

“The best advice I would give to others along the way is that you are the only one who can change your life and that change is possible, no matter how far you’ve fallen. But you have to be willing to change and take an honest look at your old behaviour that didn’t work for you,” said van der Merwe.