Ann Bayman lost her son, Christopher, on May 14.

Her experience with the funeral service provider in the days after his death, she said, caused her added trauma. “I do not want other families to go through this,” Ann told Express.

To Ann, her plight was not just a service delivery complaint, but an attempt to prevent trauma for other mourners in future.

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Her experiences would reveal that, in the event of a consumer complaint against any funeral service provider, South Africans have no industry ombudsman to turn to and that no public code of conduct holds those handling the remains of a loved one to account.

“Chris was the type of person to speak out against poor service delivery. He felt strongly about taking ownership and responsibility for one’s actions. He has left a deep footprint with those he crossed paths with. This is why I am pursuing my concerns about the poor service rendered by Doves, especially as we are in the middle of a pandemic,” Ann told Express.

A letter addressed to Doves management detailing incidents of poor communication, contradicting information and a lack of guidance on cremation processes was sent to Express by family friend Carol Simpson.

The letter also raised questions about a set of clothing and shoes, selected by Ann for her son, that had gone missing.

“While I might not understand the full impact of Covid-19 and lockdown on the funeral industry, I do believe at a time when a family is grieving we would be given more guidance from the professionals than we received,” Carol stated.

Due to no clear guidance from the branch on the day of Christopher’s death, Ann visited the Kempton Park branch on May 15 to obtain clarity on the processes, inquire about the costs, request a copy of her son’s right-hand thumbprint and obtain guidance on further requirements.

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“On May 18, Ann took a favourite outfit to Doves for Chris to be changed into as he was still wearing the clothes he had on in hospital at the time of his death,” Carol said.

Ann also requested that a letter of memories be placed in his coffin, which was to be a dark-coloured coffin. Ann was told the clothes and letter will be transported to the Boksburg branch, where Chris’s body was by that time.

According to Carol, Doves failed to notify Ann directly of the cremation date and she only learnt from Carol that her son’s cremation date was scheduled for May 28. Carol said they were initially told they could attend a last viewing.

“They called back to say we couldn’t arrange a viewing because people in Springs had more than the allowed number of people in attendance and it caused problems for Doves. I fail to understand how this impacted us,” Carol said.

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“We were also told we couldn’t attend the cremation, as this was not requested in the beginning of the arrangements. I don’t remember us being told this or being asked if this was something we could consider as an option.

“I decided to call the Boksburg branch and ask if a viewing would be possible. Quite surprisingly, I was told we could as long as not too many people attended. I assured them it would only be Ann and myself.”

On arrival at the Boksburg branch where Chris was, both women were met by the cluster manager, who took them to view Chris.

Last viewing

“Imagine a mother who lost her son waiting to say goodbye and see her son for the last time, in his favourite outfit, with the letter of memories she had written lying on his chest.

“This isn’t the experience the mother enjoyed. Chris was still in the clothes he had on in the hospital. Ann’s letter was lying on his chest. Ann started to sob, soulful sobs from deep within, and asked what had happened to his clothes.

“Another disturbing matter was that Chris was in a light-brown coffin with dark edges. The coffin selected in Kempton Park was dark in colour,” Carol said.

“I carefully selected his outfit for him. It was his favourite. It included shorts, a T-shirt, a soft jacket, clean underwear and a new pair of shoes that had only been worn twice. After I selected his outfit I donated all his clothing to charity as that is what Chris wanted,” Ann said.

Although the women were later contacted by the Boksburg branch to inform them the parcel of clothing had been collected from the Kempton branch, it never arrived.

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“All Boksburg Doves received was clean underwear and the letter,” Carol said.

Carol said they were advised to bring another set of clothing and as Christopher’s clothing had already been donated, the two women had no choice but to rush to clothing shops, during lockdown, to buy new clothing and shoes.

“These were not his clothes and no longer his favourite,” said Ann.

“The emotional and sentimental moment had been stolen and can never be replaced,” stated Carol.

Carol complimented Doves Boksburg for the care shown on the day of the last viewing. “A caring and sympathetic man, Robert, met us in Boksburg.

“He took the clothes and said he would call us once he had dressed Chris. He made sure Chris looked casual, neat and tidy. He even made sure the beanie that we had for Chris was placed on his head in a thoughtful way.

“We spent a few minutes with Chris to say goodbye. This is the way the final viewing should have been rather than the abrupt realisation of things gone wrong the days before that,” Carol said.

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Carol was notified on June 2 that the ashes were ready for collection and Carol and Ann collected the ashes together the following day.

“Our final disappointment came when I picked up the box to find that it was not sealed properly at the bottom and a trail of ashes was left on the seat of our car,” Carol said.

In her written plea to Doves, Carol stated she hopes to prevent other families from experiencing additional trauma when they are at their most vulnerable. She inquired about Doves’s internal company policies and procedures, and asked them to make processes clear and review it if necessary.

“This is a time when ethical business should trump any and all business processes to ensure respect to the customer,” Carol said.

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