Look out for narcissists
Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
“At least once in our life I’m certain you will meet one narcissist, whether it be a friend, family member, work colleague, girlfriend, boyfriend, boss or lover,” said ToughLove SA facilitator and board member Chantal Grotto.
Using the help guide mental disorders NPD as a reference, Grotto provided the following information about narcissists:
What is a narcissist?
A narcissist is defined as a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.
A disorder in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance.
Someone who expects constant admiration, who thinks they’re better than everyone else, but flies off the handle at the slightest criticism.
Identifying a narcissist:
• Grandiose sense of self-importance: Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority.
• Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
• Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur: Since reality doesn’t support their grandiose view of themselves, narcissists live in a fantasy world propped up by distortion, self-deception and magical thinking.
• Needs constant praise and admiration: A narcissist’s sense of superiority is like a balloon that gradually loses air without a steady stream of applause and recognition to keep it inflated.
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• Sense of entitlement: Because they consider themselves special, narcissists expect favourable treatment as their due. They truly believe whatever they want, they should get.
• Exploits others without guilt or shame: Narcissists never develop the ability to identify with the feelings of others – to put themselves in other people’s shoes. In other words, they lack empathy.
How to handle a narcissist:
• Don’t fall for the fantasy.
• Set healthy boundaries.
• Consider a gentle approach.
• Don’t take things personally.
• Don’t argue with a narcissist.
• Know yourself.
• Let go of the need for approval.
• Look for support and purpose elsewhere.
How to leave a narcissist:
• Educate yourself about narcissistic personality disorder.
• Write down the reasons why you’re leaving.
• Seek support.
• Don’t make empty threats.
After you’ve left:
• Cut off all contact with the narcissist.
• Allow yourself to grieve.
• Don’t expect the narcissist to share your grief.
• Get help for narcissistic personality disorder.
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