Speaker, writer and men’s empowerment advocate Sivuyile ‘Nduna’ Luvava is speaking directly to SA’s boys and men about a struggle too often left unspoken: The struggle of identity.

The struggle is quiet, personal and heavy. A moment in a man’s life when he looks in the mirror and asks, “Who am I really?”

“This is not about money, cars, women or status,” Luvava explains.

“Identity is about knowing who you are when the world strips everything else away, when the salary doesn’t come, when the woman leaves, when your friends disappear, and when even your family starts questioning you. That is when the real man is revealed.”

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Luvava says the struggle begins early. Many young men grow up in environments that do not teach them how to be men.

“Fathers are often absent or emotionally unavailable, and communities leave boys to learn manhood by observing flawed examples.

“In SA, this is real. I have seen boys grow up thinking manhood is about being tough on the streets, feared rather than respected.

I have seen young men define themselves by what they have, not by who they are. It’s not their fault; society doesn’t equip them with the tools to navigate the pressures they face.

“We grow up being told to be strong, but not too strong. To be providers, but also emotionally available in ways we were never taught.

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“To be leaders, but to follow rules that don’t make sense. And in the midst of it all, we are expected to ‘man up’ and pretend nothing hurts,” he added.

According to Nduna, true manhood is not measured by wealth, possessions or fear. It is defined by discipline, character and presence.

“I walked the streets where men push trolleys for R70 a day, and boys believe stealing or fighting is the only way to survive.

“I have seen unemployed men sit at home, wondering if they are needed in their families. I have felt that despair myself, the feeling of being invisible, of life continually knocking you down,” he said.

“And yet, I have also seen men rise. Men who refuse to let circumstance define them. Men who wake up, take responsibility, and choose to lead from where they are. Men who know that manhood is not about applause or recognition; it’s about showing up, even when no one sees you.”

Luvava directly addresses the men and boys of Thembisa: Society often attempts to convince you that you are not enough, that your mistakes define you, that your poverty is permanent, and that your family will never see you as worthy.

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“But I am telling you this: You are enough. Your identity is not defined by the world’s approval. Your worth is not measured by money, women or social status. Your identity comes from knowing yourself, standing by your purpose, and living according to your principles.”

He urges men to stop letting circumstances, fear, rejection, or failure determine their value.

“The power of a man lies in his mind, heart and values. That foundation can never be taken away.

“Bafethu (brothers), identity crisis is real. It is silent. It can be deadly if ignored. But it can be reversed.

“Every boy, every man in SA has the chance to reclaim his life, redefine his purpose, and rise, not just for himself, but for his family, his community, and the generation watching him,” Luvava said.