NERO fiddled while Rome burnt. And it looks as if Zuma is doing something similar – fiddling the accounts while Pretoria burns!
In any first-world country he would be impeached. However, he has shrewdly made sure that the very authorities who have the power to impeach him, lose their jobs if they do.
So, Struwwelpeter has no doubt that he will once again wriggle out of this scandal, as he has done so often before. Still, it will probably cost him some votes at the next election.
***
And now a recent quote from the London Times on Affirmative Action: “South Africa is the only country in the world where affirmative action is in the favour of the majority who have complete political control. The fact that the political majority requires affirmative action to protect them against a 9% minority group is testament to a complete failure on their part to build their own wealth making structures, such that their only solution is to take it from others.”
Finally, a word recently coined to describe South Africa’s current political situation: Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc’-ra-cy).
Reminds one of Pik Botha’s description of the same thing: “Skatotracy” (from the Greek “Skatos” = dung).
***
The philosophy of ambiguity: an expression that can be variously interpreted. For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity, as well as the idiosyncrasies of English:
1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila … floor.
2. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
4. The main reason that Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.
5. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
6. If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
7. Is there another word for synonym?
8. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
9. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
10. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
11. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will break in and clean them?
12. One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
13. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
14. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
15. Why are haemorrhoids called “haemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?
16. Why do shops have signs, ‘guide dogs only’, the dogs can’t read and their owners are blind?
***
A lawyer boarded a Jetstar flight in Perth with a box of frozen crabs. He asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning that he was a lawyer and would sue her if she allowed them to thaw.
Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behaviour.
Shortly before landing in Sydney, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin: “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in Perth, please raise your hand?”
Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren’t as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren’t as dumb as most folk think.
(Thanks BJ)
***
A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who was that?”
“Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”
“Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce!”
“I can understand that, ” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
“Who’s that woman with Moishe? ” asks the wife.
“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.
“Ours is prettier,” she replies.
(Thanks LL)
