Struwwelpeter: Talk is cheap…except when government does it
including actual writings in a Mpumalanga hospital register
MOST people are aware of South Africa’s desperate financial situation.
We also sit and watch how the ANC lives high on the hog. Suddenly they have developed a taste for French champagne and rare single malt whisky at their never-ending extravagant parties. Meanwhile the unpaid debts grow larger and larger.
And now, dear taxpayer, here’s another irritation for you. The African Renaissance and Cooperation Fund (whatever that might be) has just spent a great deal of your money on “the advancement of RSA’s values on the African continent and the African Renaissance”. This expenditure was unauthorised and had to be “condoned” afterwards.
And on what did they blow it on?
• R92-m aid to the Malawi government
• R133.7-m for South African intervention in Sudan
• R70-m aid to Guinea
• R5-m aid to Niger
• R100-m aid to Cuba (African continent?)
• R5-m to the Kindia Museum in Guinea
• R3-m to the Timbukto manuscript project
• R24-m to the DRC for anti-riot equipment
Total: Just over half a billion rand. Money that we need badly ourselves has been spent on political posturing.
(Source: Die Naweek Burger 4 October)
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Actual writings in a Mpumalanga hospital register:
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
(Thanks LL)
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Some quotable quotes:
In my many years I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a government – John Adams
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle – Winston Churchill
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul – George Bernard Shaw
Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries – Douglas Casey
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys – PJ O’Rourke
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free – PJ O’Rourke
In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other – Voltaire (1764)
Talk is cheap…except when government does it – Anonymous
The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other – Ronald Reagan
What this country needs are more unemployed politicians – Edward Langley
And the best quote of all…
“The budget should be balanced, the treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed, lest Rome will become bankrupt. People must again learn to work instead of living on public assistance.” – Cicero 55 BC
