Family of suicide victim speaks out
"On Sunday, when he was driving us to our mother's house, he couldn't stop looking at me in the rear view mirror. It felt weird, like he was saying goodbye."
What pushes a person so far that they want to take their own life? It is a thought that goes through everyone’s mind when they hear of a person who committed suicide.
Early on Monday morning, 12 December, motorists and residents witnessed a man hanging from a tree in Coronation Park.
A few days after the tragic ordeal, the News spoke to the family of Marlin Putter, the 37-year-old father of six who hanged himself on Sunday night, 11 December.
“He wasn’t the type who would do something like this, he was a very strong man and the rumours of him having depression are completely false,” said Elsie Putter, Marlin’s ex-wife.
“He was so tired the last time I saw him and he seemed to have financial problems, but I never for one second thought it was that bad. I did however know that he had relationship problems as well just before his death and that might have triggered his sudden hopeless act.”
Elsie describes her ex-husband as a quiet, but loving man. She said he recently quit his job, a position he filled for 15 years, to chase his dream of having a panel-beating shop of his own. He made a success of the business and, besides the friends he made through panel-beating, he had many, many other friends. However, because he was such a quiet man, it was difficult to know what went on inside his head.
“He was so quiet and he rarely talked about what bothered him. You could only see how he felt by the way he spray-painted a car.”
Elsie said she believes he did not have someone to confide in.
“If he felt down or had a lot to deal with, he would get into his car, drive around, visit a friend and then return home.”
Two of his daughters said they saw him during the weekend.
“He picked us up on Friday, as he always did and we spent the weekend with him,” said Burniece Putter, his second youngest daughter. “On Sunday, when he was driving us to our mother’s house, he couldn’t stop looking at me in the rear-view mirror. It felt weird, like he was saying goodbye.”
Elsie said on Monday Marlin’s sister called her and told her he was dead.
“I remember thinking ‘How am I going to tell the children?’. Then I asked my friend to come to my place and take me to his body. At first he didn’t want to, but I told him I had to make sure it’s him before I told the kids.”
After seeing his body, she informed the children that their father had died at Coronation Park and, to them, it was a great shock as the family frequently visited the park.
“He used to put us on the merry-go-round and spin us so fast,” Burniece said.
Elsie said Marlin was also a really good father to his step-children. “His children were everything to him and he was an exceptionally good father,” she said.
“He was our superhero,” Jaydene, his oldest biological daughter, said. “He used to braid my little sister’s hair every morning before school, and take us places.”
Elsie said she tried very hard to keep the children from experiencing bad things, but couldn’t keep this from them.
“I realise everything happens for a reason. Like when we got divorced, I was heartbroken, but I know I wouldn’t have been strong enough survive this event if I hadn’t learned to be strong on my own.”
Read more:
Father allegedly attempted suicide
Suspect commits suicide in holding cells
